Things Are Happening 2
by Threebranch
Summary: Five years after his first journey into the multiverse, Lincoln 'Kronos' Loud is coming to terms with the fact that he's gonna be a father. 22 years later, it's Abraham Lincoln Loud's time to shine! You remember him, don't you? Probably not. Rated M because of violence and Sin Kids characters.
1. Prologue

**Yeah… I'm going back to the well with this one.**

**This whole thing is an opportunity for me to look back on who I WAS as a writer compared to who I am NOW.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this story, so far I think it's MUCH better than 'Things are Happening 1.'**

* * *

**Prologue **

For 28 year old Lynn Loud Jr., a job that involves sports is one that she looked forward to as long as she can remember.

Despite many setbacks, she actually did get one coaching a college football team. When it comes to actually COACHING it however…

She's seen sitting down at her desk, water bottle in one hand and tapping the surface with the other as she starts to speak.

"These players… are horrible."

Trying not to make eye contact with the person she's talking to, she instead looks down and focuses on her professional work rather than her personal life… which she had deep regrets.

"These players are no good. I know there are people that are all like, 'NO EXCUSES!'

You know what, I got 22 excuses. 11 on my offense and 11 on my defense.

Our offensive coordinator is terrible. He gets half of his plays from the video game, Madden… ROOKIE MODE!

Our offensive line is like back when Obama was in office and we were following his immigration policy: LET EVERYBODY THROUGH!

Do we have a chance next week? No, we're 0 and 8. These guys are not good at football. I got three white receivers!

The red zone defense is like… Oprah. YOU GET A TOUCHDOWN! YOU GET A TOUCHDOWN!

Look at our playbook, I put in plays for Peyton Manning, the quarterback plays like Cooper Manning.

No credit to the other team, okay, the other team is awful.

I tried to recruit bigger, better players to come play for us but they went to GOOD schools."

She sighs and looks up.

Lincoln Loud, her brother that she had not seen in 15 years kept his gaze on her.

She notices his lips move and mentally braces herself to hear him speak.

"Damn, sis. That's fucked up. You wanna smoke?"

He hands out a small, green, rolled up cigarette. A blunt, some might say.

Even though marijuana is not allowed on the campus, she blindly accepts it anyway.

"Linky, you already know what I'm gonna say… I'm…"

"I know you're sorry, Lynn. I forgave you a long time ago when I realized that going back in that damn house may not be the best decision for me."

"We weren't making the right choices. We shouldn't have locked you out!"

"What's done is done, Lynn. It's time to let go and move on. I figured 15 years of absence is enough torture for you and everybody. But I'm afraid I gotta be leaving Royal Woods AGAIN!"

"But why? What's going on?"

Lincoln sighs. It's now or never. She's gotta know eventually.

"Lynn, my girl's six months pregnant. **I'm gonna be a father.**"

She immediately stands up. "WHAT!?"

Lincoln stands up too. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta tell the others. Our dad's gonna FLIP… I only hope he doesn't land on his ass. Hehe."

He then rushes out the door with his sister following him.

"WAIT! Lincoln… when will you come back!? Everybody misses you!"

She rushes out of the room…

Only to find the hallway completely empty. As if her brother teleported as soon as he was out of sight.

Feeling tears gathering up in her eyes, Lynn falls to her knees to the floor, getting her red tracksuit a little bit dirty but she didn't care. Her brother is gone now.

"Linky…" She cried.

* * *

**Yeah… I winged out this prologue. I didn't have a rough draft to follow. The jokes weren't even mine. I copied them from a random funny video I saw about six months ago.**

**So what do you guys think? This is quite an improvement if I ever saw one.**

**Look forward to the actual first chapter… COMING NEXT WEEK!**

**Until then… see ya!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**(THREE MONTHS LATER)**

**KRONOS**

***RING* *RING* *RING* *RING***

Rubbing his eyes, Lincoln 'Kronos' Loud lazily grabs his cell phone.

"Hello?"

"What?"

"No… I don't work today."

"I'm playing basketball at two!"

"Why don't you call Omar!?"

"Cause I'm fucking tired!"

"I just closed last night!"

"What time do you think you're gonna come in… 12?"

"Be there by 12?"

"Swear you'll be there by 12 and I'll do it!"

"12 OR I WALK!"

He hangs up the phone.

* * *

**(Love Among Freaks)**

_It's a meaningless end to the story._

_Got no time for the forgotten glory._

_And now I just what I know what I'm after._

_It just brings me to laughter._

Immediately, the first thing Kronos does when he steps into the store is take out a roll of paper towels and a spray bottle of water from the counter.

_Just save up all your nickels and dimes._

_Let's see what you'll find._

_And you'll know._

Shelves, items, whatever he can get his hands on, he makes sure it's properly dusted.

_I guess I'm living day-to-day._

_Just hope that you'll be led astray._

_Hell yeah._

Customer disputes, thefts, homeless people refusing to leave, trespassers, vandals, constant threats to his personal safety. It's all hell for Kronos but considering what he's seen in the multiverse, it really is something he wouldn't mind doing for a bit longer.

"_Maybe… I'll clean the bathrooms tomorrow." _Thought Kronos.

Bringing out a bottle of window cleaner and more paper towels, he goes outside to wash the windows.

_I just died for a piece of the pie, but,_

_I'd be glad to just feast on the pie crust._

_And now just when I know what I'm after…_

_It just brings me to laughter._

Kronos sighs. LaRhonda could be giving birth TODAY and here he is washing the windows of a convenience store… VOLUNTARILY.

He goes back inside.

_Just save up all your nickels and dimes._

_Let's see what you'll find._

_And you'll know._

He shakes his head and rests it on the counter, knowing he just parodied 'Clerks' again. This time, imagining hearing the song 'Love Among Freaks' in the background.

Perfect description of Loudcest AU, at least in his opinion.

_I guess I'm living day-to-day!_

_Just hope that you'll be led astray!_

_Hell yeah!_

_I guess I'm living day-to-day!_

_Hear what I say!_

_OH YEAH! Ooooo…_

* * *

**L AND ROCKET**

Right outside the 7-Eleven, two men wearing long, black jackets start loitering.

**(Girls Against Boys - Kill the Sex Player)**

_Kill the drummer._

_Kill the bass player._

_Kill both bass players._

_This song is so hip right now I'm going deaf. I wanna kill the singer._

The taller guy, Lincoln 'Rocket' Loud hands a can of Black Cherry Vanilla Coke to the shorter guy, Lincoln 'L' Loud.

L takes a huge gulp from the can, playfully spits it out, and kicks the half-full can across the parking lot.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" He yelled.

He then turns to face Rocket with a huge, creepy smile on his face.

"I'm feeling good today, Rocket. We're gonna make some money! Then tonight, we're gonna beat a Lincoln Loud's FACE in!

Im'a cripple this Lincoln…

Im'a cripple this Lincoln…

I'll cripple anyone who looks at his sister funny!"

Rocket just stays silent. He quit commenting on L's over the top remarks a long time ago.

* * *

**MELLARKY**

"This… is your skin."

A 27 year old Lincoln 'Mellarky' Loud is seen giving a demonstration to his husband, Jordan, General Johnny Rico, and the ghost of Katniss Everdeen.

In his hands, he's holding a strip of uncooked bacon and a very hot pan.

He drops the bacon in the pan, followed by the sound of cracks and pops as well as that unique fragrant aroma that is caught by the noses of the three guys in the room.

Mellarky continues with his lecture.

"This… is your skin in the hot sun without sunscreen."

He sets the pan down.

"Any questions?"

Katniss raises her hand.

"_Yeah… I think I got a few._

_So you're telling me that if I possess someone right now and stand in the hot sun for a few hours, their skin will be a delicious breakfast meat that'll help me through my day!?_

_Should I possess somebody right now!?"_

Jordan and Johnny laugh at Katniss's joke while Mellarky just stood there, embarrassed.

Embarrassment turning into anger, he walks out.

He doesn't need this; he's got a basketball game at two o' clock from another universe's time zone.

* * *

"Hmm? Kronos? What are you doing here?"

Kronos looks up to see Mellarky in the store.

"The boss called. Arthur fell ill."

"You're still gonna play basketball with us, right?"

"OF COURSE!"

Mellarky walks up to the counter and leans on it.

"You know… I was giving this demonstration to my husband and our friends and they ended up laughing at me."

"Still not organizing a rebellion against the U.C.F., I see."

"Hey, I'm a firm believer of a philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I worked hard to become a citizen and all."

"Yeah… I think it's great that you get to WORK for citizenship instead of… you know, having it given to you at BIRTH!"

Mellarky aggressively points at Kronos.

"Hey! Last time I checked, an American citizen doesn't get to exercise their right to vote until they are 18 years of age! What good is citizenship if you can't vote!?

Personally, I think it's STUPID for people to be making decisions for their communities ONLY because they're past a certain age."

Kronos puts the pen that he was playing with his fingers down and looks at Mellarky straight into his eyes.

"Okay… GENIUS! How does YOUR perfect society make important decisions if the average civilian isn't allowed to share their VOICE!?"

"Well… if **I **were to run things, I'd only have the people who have experience working on fixing the problems of the community be the only ones who are able to vote.

That way only experienced, qualified, and overall SMARTER people can make the choices for us.

NOT some random average joe who doesn't know shit about how government works… AND works in a convenience store!"

After having done with his argument, Mellarky and Kronos just stare at each other for a while…

Until they both burst out laughing.

"Hehe. To think we're still two different versions of the SAME guy!" Said Kronos.

"I'm right with you there, buddy! You want anything to drink? I'm buying!"

"No thanks!"

After returning with a bottle of Gatorade and a Twinkie, Mellarky moves on with the conversation.

"So… you ready to be a father?"

"I guess so. This leads to that and BOOM… LaRhonda's pregnant."

"Wonderful. You know… I've been meaning to ask, do her parents… approve of you?"

"Well… her dad threw a glass bottle across the room when he first found out I got his daughter pregnant. But after that… he's been nothing but calm."

"She… has her family with her, right?"

"Yeah! The phone could ring right now and I'll know that I'm a dad!"

"Well… I guess you can't make time to go out with me and the boys tonight!"

"What? What's gonna happen tonight?"

"**Lincoln's gonna get beaten tonight!"**

"Ah! I see." Kronos said as he rings up Mellarky's items, not wanting to see another one of those inbreeders again. Even if their face is under his shoe.

"$3.60 my friend. No discounts!"

"That's fine… I have the exact change right here anyway!"

Reaching into his pocket, Mellarky slams a handful of slightly wet coins on the counter.

Krono looks in disbelief.

"Mellarky? Have you been taking coins from the James Scott Memorial Fountain again!?"

* * *

**SOL ARIS**

"_**My heart don't skip a beat.**_

_**Even when hard times bumps the needle.**_

…

_**Mass destruction and mass corruption.**_

_**Their souls are suffering men.**_

_**Clutching on deaf ears again.**_

_**Rapture is coming."**_

It's been three years since the day Lincoln 'Sol' Loud had been banished by the Overseer to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Every day that passes by here makes him a little more certain that he won't be going back home to his wives: Ronalda Santiago or 'Ronnie Anne,' a friend since childhood, and Fen Wong, a woman he met in Tibet.

Right now, he's preparing himself to speak in front of a large crowd of Koopa Troopas, who have gathered in front of him.

The kingdom has changed a lot during the past three years. It was in a state of total war back when Sol first arrived.

Finally deciding to speak, he starts by giving a question to the crowd.

"_**Does anybody deserve a billion gold coins?"**_

Silence. Not one answer.

Sol rubs his head. He's given many speeches before because he wanted to impress the rulers of the Koopas and he wanted to shake things up a bit by asking a question.

He points at the audience.

"You! Corporal… Paraplonk, is it? Do YOU think anybody deserves a billion gold coins?"

Corporal Paraplonk adjusts the helmet on his head as he awkwardly answers Sol's question.

"Well… if they EARNED it… and worked hard for it… SURE!"

"EXACTLY!" Shouted Sol.

"It is free choice and hard work that establishes deservedness. Not a raw coin figure that's supposedly too much or too little.

Someone else CREATING something of incredible value does nothing to stop any of you from doing the same.

The economy of the Mushroom Kingdom is one that is based on EARNINGS… people have the freedom to earn and it should stay that way.

Our political opponent… Princess Peach… wants an economy based on DESERVEDNESS. She labels herself as a 'benevolent authority' who would personally put a literal cap on prosperity. Nobody will prosper in the end because of this.

My friends, back in my world, there is a word for an economy based on what people supposedly deserve… rather than what they earn…

_**Communism."**_

* * *

**From now on, I'll just give a source to anyone who asks. I'm tired.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

In Detroit, the Cadillac Square Sports Zone is a pretty popular place to play basketball.

As crowded as everything is, the people who were already there were more than happy enough to give the four white haired guys some space on the courts.

L, Rocket, Mellarky, and Kronos, who was just lucky to get out at 12 o'clock, are in the middle of a game.

It's 2 on 2. Kronos and Rocket against L and Mellarky.

Mellarky is seen rushing past Kronos and ends up scoring two points.

"Okay. Good shot. Good shot." Said Kronos.

L then walks up to him.

"Hey man, you wanna check up on your girl or something?"

"What? Nah, she's fine, L. She has her family with her. If her water breaks, her sister will call me and THEN I'll rush to the hospital. Let's keep playing!"

Two minutes later, L is seen dribbling the ball with Kronos guarding him. L then shouts out to Mellarky.

"Watch out! ISO! ISO!"

Kronos then stands up normally.

"Come on man, don't do this to me!"

"What!?"

"You're not gonna disrespect me on this court! I'm not the sorriest one out here! I've been putting up points!"

L keeps dribbling the ball while backing up a few steps.

"Okay, whatever."

Two more minutes later, Kronos is seen dribbling with Mellarky guarding him. L shouts out to him again.

"Hey! LET HIM SHOOT! LET HIM SHOOT!"

Mellarky backs up while Kronos just stands there with the ball in his hands.

"L, you KNOW I only missed one shot! That does not make me sorry!"

"MAN, SHOOT!"

"I'm feeling pressure right now! I don't know if I'm gonna make it or not!"

"Man, JUST SHOOT THE BALL!" L yells again.

Kronos mumbles to himself.

"Somebody please guard me. I'm feeling pressure."

He shoots…

And misses.

It's now near the end of the game and Kronos and Rocket are way behind.

Kronos has the ball and is dribbling when he hears L shout again.

"THAT'S COOKIES!"

Cookies is a term used in basketball when the player isn't dribbling in a way that's hard to steal the ball from, right?

"Man, FUCK THIS SHIT!"

Kronos then throws the ball to L and storms off. He doesn't even know why he even agreed to this stupid game in the first place.

* * *

Kicking his shoes off as he enters his apartment, Kronos hears his cell phone ringing.

"Hello!?"

"Huh? Jade… calm down."

"HER WATER BROKE!?"

"Oh my god! I'm putting my shoes back on! I'm on my way RIGHT NOW!"

He opens the door, ready to head back out and see LaRhonda again, when he shockingly comes face to face with somebody familiar.

The other version of himself who is supposed to represent fanfiction readers, yet has tremendous knowledge when it comes to Christianity.

Dressing himself in an orange king's outfit even though he technically isn't the KING of anything… he's more like a dictator.

"_Threebranch… cut it out." _Thought the Overseer Lincoln.

"What are YOU doing here!?" Questioned Kronos.

"I'm here because a baby is going to be born today who I'll APPOINT as the judge of the Sin Kids!"

Kronos then feels astounded.

"Okay… now I feel like you may be WORSE than my actual dad! TAKING MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD AWAY FROM ME **FOR NO REASON**!"

The Overseer then raises his hands up in defense.

"Hey, I'll wait for 21 more years. It doesn't have to be NOW!"

Kronos takes a deep breath. _"What's gotten into this guy!?" _He thought. _"It's like he's getting a little more crazier every year."_

The Overseer continues talking.

"In my defense, you should know by now that I have taken MANY children away from their parents across the multiverse over the years! YOU are the first of them! Now… before I let you go to meet your son… _**I have an assignment for you.**_"

Kronos now feels more confused than ever.

"What kind of assignment? Is it really that important that I do this BEFORE seeing my son for the first time!?"

The Overseer completely ignores Kronos's question and starts to ask his own.

"I keep seeing an upward trend of Lori Louds listening to the song 'Naughty Girls' before going into their little brother's rooms and be… intimate with them."

He walks over to Kronos and puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Son… how would you like to stop a _**forced impregnation?**_"

Kronos's mind went completely blank before filling up with pure rage for Lori Loud and her actions.

He then reminds himself of his girlfriend, who is currently in labor.

"Can't you… get… SOL to do it or something?"

The Overseer gives a surprised expression.

"Hm? Sol? Sol is… Where is… OH SHIT! I FORGOT!"

Now it's Kronos's turn to be shocked.

"Huh? What did you forget!?"

"I'M COMING SOL! HANG IN THERE!"

The Overseer then uses his magic to teleport Kronos to the universe where the Sin Kids would have been born in the future before teleporting himself to his throne room.

* * *

L, Rocket, and Mellarky are seen in a rental car driving up to 1216 Franklin Avenue: The Loud House.

"Is this the house right here?" Said Rocket, finally breaking his silence.

"Yeah." Said L. "The Overseer also said he should be alone, too. We don't have to worry about his sisters rushing out to help."

"Hehe. I can't WAIT to beat this guy's ass! I'm so happy you both called me!" Said an excited Mellarky.

Rocket then focuses his attention to Mellarky.

"Hey man, you gotta watch yourself."

"Hm? What you you mean 'watch yourself?' The only thing I'm gonna watch is that child molester's eyes fill up with tears as I kick his FUCKING TEETH IN!"

"Wait… child molester? Profile says this Lincoln only fucks his sisters." Said a confused L.

"Look closer. This Lincoln is 25 and fucks Lily… YOU DO THE MATH!"

"LILY!? OUR LITTLE BALL OF SUNSHINE!?"

"GUYS GUYS!" Shouted Rocket. "I'm just as mad as you two are right now and I'm gonna break a few BONES when we get out of this car, but there has to be something to control this anger you two are feeling right now!

Look, back when my kids were still living in my house, I had to control my anger a LOT!

I cope by listening to the oldies.

**She… had a place in his life.**

**He… never made her think twice.**

**As he rises to her apology,**

**Anybody else would surely know.**

**He's watching her go."**

Mellarky then joins in on Rocket's singing.

"_**But what a fool believes, he sees. **_

_**No wise man has the power… to reason away.**_

_**What seems to be… is ALWAYS better than nothing!"**_

"Hey! HEY!" L shouts and claps his hands to stop the guys from singing.

"What are you two DOING!? We're here to beat an inbreeder's ass and you're sitting here harmonizing!?"

Rocket calmly responds.

"No L. I'm helping Mellarky save his soul!"

L turns his attention to Mellarky.

"As much as I hate to say it, Rocket is right. We need to remind ourselves that we're beating up inbreeders out of NECESSITY not PLEASURE! Got it!?"

"Yeah… got it."

L then looks out the car window.

"Oh shit! THERE HE IS!"

The Lincoln Loud that they are planning to beat up just exited the Loud House.

"Get him! GET HIM!" L shouts as the guys get out of the car.

"_His palms are sweaty. Knees weak; arms are heavy._

_There's vomit on his sweater already, __**mom's spaghetti.**_

_HE'S NERVOUS!"_

Thought Mellarky as he gets out of the car.

He didn't even make it to the chorus of the song when they were all done.

The Lincoln Loud is still alive but is crying out in pain and in a bloody, mangled mess on the lawn.

His sisters are gonna be so mad.

* * *

Having done with his lecture, Sol is seen eating spaghetti at his house; thinking about the adventures he had with the other Lincoln Louds as well as the ones with Mario.

He was about to take another bite when he hears a knock at the front door.

"What is this? I'm trying to eat my goddamn dinner."

He opens the door.

"*GASP* **YOUR MAJESTY!**"

Sol stands up straight as soon as he sets his eyes on her majesty… **Queen Bowsette.**

Once the terrifying king of the Koopas, now with the help of the Super Crown, she is now the more well-defined Bowsette.

She smiles at Sol.

"Hello Sol. May I come in?"

"YEAH! COME IN! COME IN! My house is your house your majesty!"

After letting Bowsette in, he continues standing straight while she sits down on the couch.

"I could not ask for a better lecture than the one that you gave to the troops today." She said.

"Nah, it's nothing. If I ever have children, I'd say the same things to them too."

"You know… speaking of children." Bowsette crosses her legs. "My son just came back from Tokyo and said that the Olympic games with Sonic the Hedgehog will carry on like normal. I can't wait for them to react to the new me!"

Sol scratches his head.

"You… came all the way down here from your castle just to tell me that?"

Bowsette caresses her chin.

"Well… THAT and to give you a token of my appreciation."

She reaches into her… cleavage… and pulls out a slip of paper.

"This is a check for a thousand gold coins for giving some inspiration to the troops. I feel like I want to give something back. Just not my body. THAT belongs to Mario!"

"I can't disagree with you THERE!" Gleefully said Sol as he snatched the check from Bowsette's smooth fingers.

He may not EVER return back home but at least he can live with the most of what he has and will be getting…

"_**I'M SORRY SOL! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT YOU! LET ME PULL YOU OUT OF THERE!"**_

"Huh?" "What the…"

Sol is still processes the Overseer's voice when a large, blue pillar of light pierced through the roof and ceiling of the house and encapsulates him. The light, of course, being accompanied by heavenly music.

Bowsette stares in shock, Sol Aris is one of the strongest members of her royal guard and he's going to go away. It wasn't fair to her.

The Overseer, satisfied with the show he created, 'raptured' up Sol from that universe.

Leaving a very shocked Bowsette looking up at the hole in the ceiling, unable to form words for a comment.

* * *

**Okay, I DID consider writing a sequel for 'To Change a Kingdom,' which would circle around the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games with Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends, but I scrapped it because I didn't think the idea's big enough.**

**I'm aiming to release Chapter 3 on the 15th so PLEASE be patient for me until then.**

**Look forward to it.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_**I've been told time and time again.**_

_**That you can't treat love like a game.**_

_**But I play rough.**_

_**With hearts that never mend."**_

With that song the Overseer mentioned playing in Kronos's head, he wastes no time…

And uses his telekinetic power to throw an 18 year old Lori Loud through the backdoor of the Loud House.

"AAAAAHHH!" Yelled Lori as she fell on her back.

"_**But now. **_

_**I can't believe this is real.**_

_**How I feel, now you steal.**_

_**My heart away from me."**_

For Lori, she literally cannot process the things that are happening right now. She was on her way from her room to her brother's room to seduce him when all of a sudden, everything went dark blue and this stranger that claims to be Lincoln Loud is tossing her down the stairs and now into the backyard.

She LITERALLY just processed everything that happened.

"W-wait." She stuttered out. Trying to avoid the angry gaze of Kronos. "P-please don't hurt me."

Kronos didn't listen to her, however, as he uses his powers to slam her into the tree behind her.

Lori coughs hard. There's no blood but she isn't sure what to do about this guy now that her secret is out.

"Y-you're mad that I want to have sex with him, aren't you? You're mad because I wanted to have sex with my baby brother."

Kronos looks down at Lori.

"Mad is… an understatement. He's only 12… you know?"

With tears now running down her face, Lori retaliates back.

"He's all I have left! One day, he'll LEAVE me like Bobby did! I DON'T WANT to be alone! I love my brother very much and would do ANYTHING FOR HIM!"

Kronos smirks a little under the blue bandana he wears to cover his face.

"Well… I know what love is… personally.

It's a… force that drives you into doing stupid shit that you'll eventually end up regretting later."

He then thinks to himself.

"_Hey… readers? Readers who are actually __**READING MY THOUGHTS **__right now, since I know that this is a fanfiction and all._

_If I was forced to choose to have sex with either a male donkey or ANY of my sisters…_

_I'd choose the donkey. Heh. A sexy stud I am."_

Lori then interrupts Kronos's thoughts.

"H-hey Lincoln! Tell me something!"

Holding himself back because Lori called him by his real name, Kronos nods.

"What is it?"

Lori then takes a deep breath to calm herself and to prepare for his answer.

"Okay… you must have seen our child in another universe, right? You saw the product of our love? Tell me he or she is beautiful."

That… made something in Kronos snap. He reaches forward and grasps Lori's neck, cutting off her oxygen.

Hearing Lori's struggle for air, he leans forward and looks straight into her eyes.

"Lo...ann. LITERALLY a pain in the ass!"

He's then instantly phased out of that universe by the Overseer, who is satisfied with the message. Leaving Lori alone to catch her breath.

* * *

Having not been in his universe more than five minutes, Lincoln (we'll stop calling him Kronos) hears the thing that he's been looking forward to hearing for months.

The crying of his baby boy.

LaRhonda is in front of him, lying down in her hospital bed, holding their baby. Her parents and sister, Jade, looking happy for him.

"I'm…" Stutters Lincoln. "I'm so sorry I couldn't make it here sooner."

Mr. Jackson walks up to Lincoln and puts his hand on his shoulder.

"I personally know the feeling that you're having right now, Lincoln. Come hold your son."

Lincoln is holding back some tears. "I… I don't know if I can."

"Hey!"

Everyone turns to LaRhonda's direction.

"Lincoln, I know that you didn't come all this way here just so you can stand around like you don't have anywhere to sit down! Come hold your son…

_**And name him!**_"

Scooting over to the woman he hasn't married yet, he gently takes his son into his arms. Who has now stopped crying and is looking directly up at him.

"It's like… entire galaxies are behind his pupils… what am I saying right now?" Said Lincoln.

He then remembers the name that was said to him in the previous story before the last chapter.

"Welcome to the world… _**Abraham Lincoln Loud.**_"

LaRhonda's family then burst out in laughter, for a split second, Lincoln thought he could see a smile on his son's face.

"What's wrong with Abraham Lincoln Loud!?"

* * *

Lincoln, now 38 years of age, is sitting with his wife, how has been married for 10 in the school auditorium for the school's 5th grade ceremony.

"Oh my god. I can't wait for my son to deliver the Gettysburg Address. I heard him read it over and over and over again." Lincoln said with a not so subtle amount of glee in his voice.

LaRhonda nodded.

"You know, those other versions of yourself. You SWORE not to talk to them anymore. Because I don't want to see them crash this show like that crashed Abe's 10th birthday party."

"Yeah… I'm not talking to them anymore… OH LOOK! It's starting!"

They see their son, Abraham, age 11, walk up to the stage wearing his signature top hat and clothes.

Their excitement turns to shock, however, when he spoke into the microphone.

"**I will say… then… that I am not… nor ever have been…**

**In favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality…**

**Of the white and black races."**

_**(ACTUAL ABRAHAM LINCOLN QUOTE!)**_

"_Wait… hold on, WHAT!?" _Thought Lincoln.

"What is this boy talking about!?" Said LaRhonda.

Abraham continues speaking.

"**And I will say in addition to this… that there is a physical difference between…**

**The white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races…**

**Living together on terms of social and political equality…"**

_**(I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! ABE LINCOLN ACTUALLY SAID THIS!)**_

"BOOOOO!" "RACIST!" "GET OFF THE STAGE!"

Lincoln, who is just as angry as the audience, stands up.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!"

"Lincoln, SIT DOWN!" Yelled LaRhonda.

* * *

"Son, I am VERY DISAPPOINTED in you!

The family of three are seen driving on their way home.

Abraham argues back at his father.

"Dad! Abraham Lincoln was a RACIST! He thought that white people are superior to black people! I mean… I even SKIPPED a part of the quote even **I **thought was too much! _I gotta tell the truth to people, dad!_"

Pointing at the rear view mirror, Lincoln screams again.

"ABE! You listen to me and you listen good!

If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, _**SHUT THE HELL UP!**_

_**LIE IF YOU HAVE TO!**_"

* * *

Lincoln can't sleep. He's been pacing up and down the kitchen for the last twenty minutes.

He's playing his son's message over and over again in his mind.

He's heard nothing but good things about Abraham Lincoln, with the Emancipation Proclamation and all that, he thought it would just be cool to name his son that.

"Quite a show your son puts on, huh?"

Lincoln looks up from the floor to see the Overseer of the Multiverse sitting down in front of him.

"What are YOU doing here!?"

"Just giving you a friendly reminder that you have eleven years left. ALSO… remember Finn, Marco, and Dipper Pines?"

"Why should I care!?"

"Wellllllll… it's like what you said to Lynn Jr. once, _15 years is torture enough._"

Lincoln sighs. They had to be let out eventually. He only hopes is SON won't be their victim.

"Overseer… can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you think I'm a bad father?"

"Come on… you're really asking ME that? What would you think I'd do if I thought you're a terrible father?"

* * *

Abraham, now 16 years old, is getting scolded by his dad.

"Let me get this straight, Abraham! I get a call from your school, saying that you got suspended because you were skateboarding in the hallway wearing a blindfold screaming out that they're coming to get you! WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?"

Abraham sighs. He wishes that his dad would just drive him home silently. Not scold him in the car on the school parking lot.

"Dad! I was trying to get everyone to talk about the movie 'Bird Box!' It's a good movie!"

"Man, I don't give a FUCK about no bird boxes, Abe! When I get home, I'm SMASHING the Blu-Ray player with a sledgehammer and while I'm at it, the same thing is gonna happen to your Xbox!

"WHAT!"

"YOU HEARD ME! And when I tell your mom about what you did today, she's gonna fucking kill you! Now get the fuck out of my car and WALK HOME!"

Abraham quickly gets out of the car, not wanting to upset his dad any further.

Lincoln lets out a long sigh and grabs a small bottle of orange juice from the cup holder. Being a parent is NOT easy!

He only had a chance to take a small sip when he notices someone in the rear view mirror.

The Overseer of the Multiverse is in the back seat of Lincoln's car.

"What up, **Kushpapi?**"

Spitting out the juice in shock, Lincoln starts to speak.

"I'll… I'll apologize to my son RIGHT AWAY!"

The Overseer brings his hands together.

"Now THAT'S what I wanna hear, Lynn Loud Sr. Now remember, you only have six years left before I take Abraham from you and introduce him to the multiverse!"

Lincoln gets out of his car and runs after his son.

"ABE! I'M SORRY!"

The Overseer laughs, leans forward, and grabs the bottle of orange juice.

"This shit don't make any sense." He said before drinking the whole thing.

* * *

"Son, I need you to come help your mother and I at the community garden this weekend. It's about time you get off your lazy…"

Lincoln, now age 49, just walks into his son's room only to find it empty.

"Now where did he run off…"

Suddenly, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

The Overseer's promise.

He DID say that he has more in common with Satan.

Now Lincoln feels like Dr. Faustus.

The last 22 years might as well have lasted 22 seconds to him. It would still feel the same.

Sitting down on Abraham's chair, he takes off his glasses and places them on his desk.

He then buries his face in his hands; what is he gonna tell his wife? How will she react?

He is tired. He's been tired since Abraham was born and he knows he's gonna be tired for the rest of his life. Random parts of his body are starting to hurt for no reason and it's something he really can't stop.

Abraham is further than far away right now and there's literally nothing that he can really do about it.

All he can do now is wait…

And maybe dust up this room a little.

* * *

**Lincoln 'Kronos' Loud isn't the main protagonist in this story. Abraham is.**

**THIS was the last chapter this character of mine is gonna be in. No cameos. Nothing more. He's done.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"_Hundred bands in my pocket, it's on me._

_Hundred deep when I roll like the army._

_Get more bottles, these bottles are lonely._

_It's a moment when I show up, got 'em saying…"_

Lemy shuts off the alarm on his phone. Rubbing his eyes and getting out of bed, he finishes the last lyric.

"Wow."

One would think that at 16 years old, people would be having the time of their lives. Partying, driving, hanging out with friends. This isn't the case for Lemy Loud, his weird family mostly being the cause. The fact that he's the only man besides his dad isn't helping either.

While he would like to stay in his room all day, unfortunately he had been told by two of his sisters, Lupa and Lacy, to accompany them to the mall to assist them with carrying bags today.

He sighs and gets ready for another crappy day in the linen closet he calls his room.

* * *

After what feels like the longest two hours of his life, Lemy is resting on a chair at the mall with Lacy sitting across from him. About half a dozen shopping bags are on the floor between them.

Lemy is resting his eyes for what he hoped would be for a few minutes when he heard his sister giggling. He opens his eyes to see her looking down at her phone.

Now with a sense of curiosity overwhelming him, he speaks out to her.

"What's so funny?"

Lacy looks up from her phone, still having a smile on her face.

"It's this article about this new basketball superstar: Nathaniel Daniel!"

She gets up from the chair and shows Lemy what she's reading. Lemy looking more curious by the second.

Looking at the article from her phone, Lacy reads aloud.

"Nathaniel Daniel is a great prospect who unfortunately lacks _hee-get, _but makes up for in _wid-ith._"

"_Wait… did she just say…"_

"He may be the second coming of Charles Barkley!" Said Lacy, finishing the article.

Lemy isn't gonna let this slide. He needs to get his sister's mind straight.

"Okay, first of all… he lacks what?"

"Hee-get."

"...What?"

"Hee-get. He gets buckets, that's why he's getting drafted. He has hee-get in his game."

With Lacy now confirming his thoughts, Lemy gently takes her phone and holds it in his hand.

"Okay… you're off. It says Nathaniel Daniel is a great prospect who unfortunately lacks HEIGHT! Height… it's how tall someone or something is. And makes up for in WIDTH!

It's HEIGHT and WIDTH, Lacy. Alright!?"

Lacy stares off into space for a second before giving her answer.

"Lem, height is how tall someone or something is."

She then mimics basketball shots in the air, receiving some stares from random people walking by.

"Hee-get is a term for getting many points in basketball!"

Lemy can feel his head hurt by having the stupidity that's coming from his sister's mouth. Maybe Liena isn't the least smart of all the Sin Kids.

"The article doesn't say hee-get!" He continues arguing.

"Lem, I'm very disappointed by your command of the…"

"Uh… HEY GUYS! What's going on!"

Interrupting the conversation, Lupa, who just walked out of Eskimo Joe's with a seventh shopping bag for her brother to carry, rushes over to them.

Lacy answers her sister's question.

"Okay… Michael Jordan, right? He scores a lot. Which means he does what?"

Deciding to go along with the question, Lupa decides to answer the question in her older sister's terms.

"He… gets buckets."

Lacy then faces Lemy.

"Hee... get. Hee-get."

"What are you guys talking about again?" Questioned Lupa, who is now more curious than before.

"Show her the phone, Lemy!" Said Lacy.

"No… I don't wanna…"

Lacy then snatches her phone from Lemy's grip and hands it to her sister.

"Read this."

Deciding to go along with whatever's happening, Lupa obliges.

"Nathaniel Daniel is a great prospect who unfortunately lacks…"

She stares into Lemy's eyes.

"...Hee-get."

"_Damn!" _Thought Lemy.

"... makes up for in _wid-ith_. A short but very strong, in the pain player." Lupa then stops reading.

"Is that really what you see?" Questioned Lemy.

Lupa shows Lemy the screen on the phone. "You see it too! Hee-get!"

"He LACKS HEIGHT! It says HEIGHT and WIDTH!"

Lupa then snaps back at her brother.

"No no no no no no. This says hee-get!"

"I know you two have seen these words before!" Said Lemy.

"Hey! Don't start that shit with us again, Lemy!" Threatened Lupa.

"No! Just listen! Width…"

"WID-ITH! W-I-**D**-T-H!"

"The D is silent!"

"What do you mean silent! It's right there between the I and T!"

"I didn't say it was invisible, I said it was SILENT!"

Lupa responds in a calmer tone of voice.

"I'm not gonna let you get me upset this time."

Lemy is at a loss for words when he hears Lacy speak.

"Lemy, I'm very disappointed in your command of the english language. You're a linguistic disappointment! Let me show you something!"

Lacy walks over to Lupa and stands beside her.

"What is this? Shoulder to shoulder. It means we are WITH each other!"

She points to Lupa.

"Spell it! Spell 'with.'"

Lupa then gives her sister a smug expression.

"Ahhhh… I get it. You're smart, sis. W-I-T-H. We're standing WITH each other! I'm standing WITH my sister! W-I-T-H!"

"Okay, now look." Continues Lacy.

Lemy's eyes widen in shock as he witnesses Lacy pull out a tape measure from her back pocket and extends it to measure both her and Lupa. As far as he knows, they haven't been to a home appliance store… at least not yet.

"We're shoulder to shoulder. This is the WIDTH of the sisters! Now how do you spell that!?"

Lupa, who is holding the other end of the tape measure, responds smugly.

"W-I-T-H!" Getting it wrong on purpose. "There's no D in it! It's a homonym, Lemy. Two different words that are spelled the same!"

Lemy, who is frozen in shock by the stupidity and teasing from his sisters, breaks his silence.

"All right, Lace. You've made your point. Let me… see that real quick."

Lacy hands over the tape measure to her brother.

"Thank you."

He then tosses it into the nearby trash can.

Lupa steps back in surprise.

"Now why would you do THAT!?"

Lemy then shouts,

"Because you're both stupid! Carry your own damn bags!"

He storms off, planning to walk home, not caring that it's raining outside.

He'd rather spend two or three days with the flu than spend two or three minutes with his sisters.

Lacy looks at Lupa.

"I'm right… aren't I?"

Lupa looks at her sister, who she loves very much and wouldn't wish any harm on her. "Yeah, you're right."

* * *

**(Dido - Thank You)**

_My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I…_

_Got out of bed at all._

_The morning rain clouds up my window…_

_And I can't see at all._

_And even if I could, it'll all be gray,_

_But your picture on my wall._

_It reminds me that it's not so bad,_

_It's not so bad._

* * *

Drying his hair off with a towel, Lemy sits down at his desk and gets out a pen and paper.

He writes…

_Dear Abraham, _

_ I thought about what you said to me a few days ago. I changed my mind. I DO want to go into the multiverse._

_But anyways; fuck it, what's been up?_

_Things at home have been hectic as fuck but I'm pulling through. I still hate my family and their inbreeding. Sleep just never come to me either. _

_Anyways, I hope you get this man. Hit me back. Just to chat. _

_Truly Yours,_

_This is Lemy._

After stuffing the letter in an envelope, he takes a stamp from his desk.

As soon as he sticks it on the corner, the envelope glows a faint, green light just like he was told that it would.

It then vanishes into thin air, now on it's way to the receiver.

"And now… I wait."

* * *

**Hectic- Full of incessant or frantic activity.**

_Synonyms include: frenzied, feverish, restless, very busy, and very active._

**That was Threebranch's word of the day.**

**And now for the reference. The jokes that you have seen in this chapter is a parody of a video by Bigg Jah, 'When the whole crew is stupid,' episode 6. **


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Washington D.C.

The capital of the United States of America.

In its 68 square miles, there are many memorials, historic landmarks, and restaurants that tourists drive hundreds of miles every year just to eat there.

There are also a lot of crazy people that dwell in the District of Columbia, both in the political buildings and out of them.

Right outside the fences of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is 22 year old Abraham Lincoln Loud, dressed in his finest gray jacket and matching pants, black turtleneck, and his signature black silk top hat, yelling conspiracy theories at the people passing by.

"See, this is the White House! See, what they want you to THINK, is that the White House was created by the government… to put a chip into our brains!

See, the White House… is really not the White House! It's a massive HOLOGRAM… projected above the real Area 51!

What they have at the bottom of the White House… are government officials using ancient alien technology to make contact with alien overlords millions of light years away and then run the country based on what they were TOLD!"

Ignoring judgemental stares from the tourists, Abraham then points to the White House lawn.

"Now if you look at the White House… there are snipers! The snipers are metahumans… they are not from this WORLD! They are MADE with robotic engineering… like all the stuff found in NASA!

Once they make them at NASA… they ship them to the Moon to make sure they can resist… LIFE!"

"_**HEY!"**_

Abraham looks to his left to see a guy with dirty blond hair and wearing a black and yellow striped t-shirt and jeans speed walk towards him.

"What the hell do you think you're _doing_!?" The random guy said. "Do you even know where you _are_ right now!?"

Abraham relaxes his shoulders and tries to answer the agitated man's question as calmly and as truthfully as he can.

"I'm at the nation's capital. In front of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The White House."

"NO! That's not what I…" The random guy stops himself as he looks up and down at Abraham. "...Nevermind. Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look kinda like the President? I can see some resemblance."

Abraham chuckles a little to himself, lying through his teeth once more.

"I often do get my looks compared to our great President Lincoln Loud. I MAY be his son, but then again I may NOT!"

Now it's the man's turn to chuckle.

"Well, my conspiracy theory spreading friend, you may want to _wish_ that you are not the illegitimate son of our President. Pretty soon, one of your AUNTS is gonna become your STEPMOTHER!"

"Yeah, I may… WAIT! WHAT!?"

Abraham steps back in shock. He thinks, _"WOW! I knew this universe has a President Lincoln Loud… BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT __**THIS!"**_

The man continues speaking. Resting one arm on his hip.

"Come ON, man! Where have you BEEN the last couple of days!? You had to be living under a ROCK to not know that President Loud is gonna make one of his sisters the first lady!"

"Well…" Abraham starts forming his argument in his head. "The first lady of the United States does not _need _to be the wife of the President. James Buchanan had his niece, Harriet Rebecca Lane Johnson, as _his _first lady. THEREFORE…"

"_**IN…" **_Interrupts the man. Dismissing Abraham's argument. _**"... CEST… WE… TRUST! **_My money is on **Luan. **Who do YOU think will be the lucky sister who will take the President's hand in marriage!?"

Abraham immediately covers his mouth with both of his hands.

"I THINK I'm gonna be SICK!" He yells as he runs away from the man.

Crossing his arms and laughing at himself, the man with the yellow and black striped t-shirt walks in the other direction, feeling happy that he got to have that conversation.

* * *

"Oh man… I'm in LOVE with the sauce!"

"Of course you are! It's sweet Korean barbecue."

Two young adults, one Hispanic, the other Chinese, are seen having their lunch at a restaurant not far from where Abraham was giving his speech.

The restaurant is quite famous for its doughnuts that customers order along with the fried chicken.

The Hispanic guy notices Abraham walk up to them and informs his half-brother.

"Hey, Abraham's back."

The Chinese guy stands up from his seat to greet Abraham.

"Well… I can see you're all done with your… public speaking. You don't actually BELIEVE that bullcrap, do you?"

Abraham smirks.

"**Chin, **you and **Bobby** should know by now that I like to lie for fun."

He sits down with the half-brothers: the sons of an acquaintance of his father. Traveling with friends is better than travelling alone, at least in Abraham's philosophy.

"So… how do you two like the multiverse so far?" Questioned Abraham.

"Oh, I think it's GREAT!" Answered Bobby. "Chin and I NEVER get to travel! Now here we are in the nation's capital with another version of our dad as the fucking president!"

Abraham scratches his head.

"Well… in order to spare ourselves any… _unpleasantness… _down the line, I got something fun in mind for us to do in another universe!"

"Huh? Why would…" Chin trails off. "Ah, I get it, you don't want us to know about what the fucking president is up to!"

"_DANG IT!" _Thought Abraham.

"Don't worry, I want out as much as you do. Also, before I forget…" Chin pulls out a letter from his pocket.

"THIS… materialized in front of me. Apparently I'm your fucking messenger now!"

"Ah, let me see that." Said Abraham, taking the letter from Chin. "It must be from that inbred abomination, Lemy."

He opens up the letter.

"Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Oh yeah. Mmm-hmm. I know some of these words."

Chin rolls his eyes, understanding the reference. Abraham puts down the letter and pulls out his Multiverse Traversing Device.

"Sure, we can let Lemy tag along with us for a little while. It'll be a great learning experience for him."

"All right man." Said Bobby. "If that's your choice, I don't wanna argue with you. What exactly do you have planned for us anyway?"

* * *

"We're… waiting to see a… DOCTOR!?"

After inviting Lemy to join their small group, which he immediately joins in, the four guys are seen in a waiting room in Chicago.

Abraham tries to comfort Lemy.

"Oh, you're gonna LOVE **Dr. Wootan Yu. **He can do a much better job explaining the multiverse than I can."

Chin smirks.

"Heh. With a name like Wootan Yu, you know he's gotta be an expert in his field."

Abraham gives Chin a 'really' look and makes his way to the water cooler with Lemy following him.

"Hey? You know what I just watched?" Said Lemy, trying to start up a conversation.

"An asshole that made a stereotype against asians." Answered Abraham.

"Death Race 2000!"

"_Death Race… 2000?_"

"Yeah… which one do you like better: the original or the remake?"

"The remake." Abraham answered honestly.

"Blasphemy." Said Lemy.

**(Huma Huma - Omission)**

"The remake had the better story, I mean… Jensen Ames is framed for the murder of his wife, ends up impersonating Frankenstein, and manages to break out of prison with the help of Machine Gun Joe.

That's what I think is the beauty of life: individuals overcoming their unimportant differences to achieve greater goals. All the original Death Race had to offer is a bunch of dialog and Nazi imagery."

Abraham fills a glass with water from the water cooler while listening to Lemy's response.

"Yeah… I guess I can't argue with you there. There's a few things that didn't sit right with me when I was watching it."

"Like what?" Questioned Abraham, before he takes a sip.

"Like in the end of the movie, where the President gets killed. All of a sudden no more Death Race? I think merging church and state MIGHT have played a role in that. A possible sign from God to abolish the yearly event."

"Yeah, that's probably it."

They both sit back down just in time to hear Bobby complaining. But not before Abraham finishes his glass.

"God, WHEN is the doctor coming to see us! Let's get this thing going!"

Now it's Abraham's turn to smirk.

"I thought you'd never ask!"

The other three guys watch in confusion as he gets up and walks towards the exit.

"My brothers…"

He turns the door handle…

Only for it to break off, revealing an oven dial.

Playfully throwing the handle on the floor, with the sound ringing in everyone's ears, 'Dishonest Abe' continues speaking.

"**Welcome to the escape room!"**

* * *

**I would like to thank Whimfu1 for his permission to use the setting of his story, 'In Cest We Trust.' I got the idea to involve the story after looking at a random internet video while I was trying to come up with new ideas. We talked for a while about the idea and he even gave me a few suggestions on how to make it as good as it can be. I tried to come up with what a 'John Smith' would act like in the story and I'm really happy with what I came up with.**

**Look forward to the next chapter where the sons of three different Lincoln Louds will end up in an argument in an escape room.**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**(FLASHBACK:**

**Three Weeks Earlier)**

Blowing the dust off of the top hat. The Overseer Lincoln hands it over to Abraham, who is sitting down in his chair feeling slightly eager to go into the multiverse for the first time.

"What exactly can this magical hat _do _exactly?" Questioned Abraham, examining the hat closely.

The Overseer grins at his appointed judge.

"Oh… when the time comes, you'll know EXACTLY what it can do!"

Shrugging, Abraham puts it on.

* * *

**(PRESENT DAY)**

"Wooooo! Talk about immersive! Am I right guys!?"

Having just finished the upside-down escape room, Abraham looks like he's having the time of his life.

As for the other three, however…

"GOD DAMN YOU ABRAHAM!" Shouted Chin.

"We nearly DIED like… SIX TIMES SO FAR! And all you're doing is LAUGHING about it!?"

"Hey! We're here now, aren't we?" Said Abraham. "Maybe if you all just followed my DIRECTIONS… you wouldn't have been in as much danger."

"NAH! Fuck that!" Shouted Lemy. "I should have never sent you that _fucking _letter! We nearly BURNED ALIVE in that waiting room!"

"I used the liquid from my portal gun to fill the last glass!" Abraham yelled defensively.

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE USED A BOOK!?"

Bobby then steps forward to confront Abe.

"You FORCED us to use our hands to melt the ice to get that key!"

"Hey, we couldn't use Lemy's lighter! We'd DIE like Danny did in the movie!"

Chin then speaks up.

"Okaaaay. What about the room we were JUST in? You kept saying 9-8-1-0 isn't the code WHEN IT CLEARLY WAS!"

"THE CODE IS **0-1-8-6! **YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN!"

Chin just stood there in shock.

"Well… if you knew what the code was all along… WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT THE SECOND YOU GOT UP THERE!?"

"BECAUSE I COULDN'T RISK THE ENTIRE FLOOR FALLING ALL AT ONCE!" Abraham shouted honestly.

"All… at once?"

Abe points at Chin.

"The reason why I even BOUGHT you all here in the fucking first place is to show you all that the multiverse isn't all fun and games! There's a MUCH more serious side to it! This whole journey is just my way of introducing it to you."

He then chuckles a little.

"You know, I'd like to lie again and say that we saved six people's lives today because we took their place, but they never fucking showed up! Minos HAD to show SOMETHING of entertainment to the super rich! They'd risk getting ratted out to the federal authorities like the I.C.P.O. if they fail to deliver."

Right as Abraham said what he had to say, the lights came on in the room, illuminating half a dozen hospital beds throughout the room.

He goes over to one of the beds and picks up a file.

"**Amanda Harper**, an Iraq War veteran. She's the sole survivor of an I.E.D. blast and now has to live with a bunch of scars. The first room is a dark reflection of the heat that she felt, triggering her P.T.S.D. in the movie."

The other guys take Abraham's words in as he walks over to another bed.

"**Ben Miller**, a stock boy at a grocery store who is the sole survivor of a car crash. The car crash happened around the holiday season. That's why the seven letter word we needed is 'Rudolph.'"

Chin scratches his head. _"The answer WAS obvious." _He thought.

Abraham continues speaking.

"**Zoey Davis**, a physics student who was the sole survivor of a plane crash. I don't know EXACTLY what saved her life… but everything was hanging upside down… including her mom's corpse. God bless her.

That was the reason why the billiards bar escape room was upside-down. It's a dark reflection of Zoey's tragedy."

Bobby scratches his nose. _"So that's why it was upside-down."_

"THIS ROOM… we're standing in right now… is a dark reflection of **Danny Khan's **tragedy. He lost his whole family to carbon monoxide poisoning.

The rooms of **Jason Walker **and **Mike Nolan** are up next… and I DO have something that you guys can use to _destroy _them."

Lemy smirks.

"Heh. Yeah right. There's no way you could be telling the truth. You weren't honest with us BEFORE. So… why start now?"

Bobby and Chin slowly nod in agreement with Lemy's statement.

"Yeah…" "You're a fucking liar, Abe."

Abraham throws his hands up in the air in defeat.

"Fine! Don't believe me! Just know…

_I won't be helping your asses out on this one."_

As soon as he said that, to the shock of the other three guys in the escape room, a television screen comes on, the noise coming from it getting their attention.

"_Do you have the heart to let Dr. Wootan Yu help you become a better you?_

_Open new doors by testing your limits._

_Don't settle for a humdrum existence._

_Live life to the extreme._

_Place your order in the next five minutes and receive a complimentary getaway."_

A timer on the screen then starts counting down from five minutes.

"_**AAAAAH!" **_Screamed Lemy, Bobby, and Chin.

"Clues! Clues! Clues!" Panicked Lemy as he searches the room with Bobby.

Chin however, decides to flip the bird at the television screen.

"FUCK YOU DR. WOOTAN YU!"

In the middle of all the chaos, Abraham is calmly pacing back and forth, softly singing to himself.

"**Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city.**

**Linger on the sidewalk where the neon sides are pretty.**

**How can you lose?"**

"OH GREAT!" Shouted Lemy. "Like I haven't been forced to listen to that song ENOUGH!"

"Hey guys! I got something!" Bobby runs to the center of the room holding some x-ray pictures.

Abraham continues singing.

"**Downtown! Things will be great when you're downtown!"**

Meanwhile, the three guys are studying the pictures on the display.

"Okay, uh… A fist, one finger, and two fingers." Said Chin. "It could be… It could be zero, one, two, right? Right!? Like a code!"

Lemy then lunges forward.

"No, no, no! It spells…"

He rearranges the x-rays so that the fist is on the left, the hand holding up two fingers is in the center, and the one holding up one finger is pointing to the left.

"E-K-G! Yeah, it's sign language!"

Bobby and Chin both look at Lemy, not sure what to say.

"My older sister, Liena, doesn't talk. She uses sign language to communicate. Is there an EKG machine here somewhere!?"

"**We gon' dance in the LIVING ROOM!**

**Slave to the way you move!**

**Hurts when I'm leaving you!"**

"Seriously Abe!? The FUCKING Jonas Brothers!?"

Lemy then turns to Abraham's direction to scold him some more…

And that's when he saw that he already brought out the EKG machine.

* * *

After much arguing about Abraham's handling of the previous escape room, the four guys sit in a circle next to a hatch, ignoring the design of the room.

"So…" Said Bobby. "If we touch that hatch… you're saying that only one of us will end up surviving?"

"Yep." Answered Abraham. "But since you guys are willing to…. You know… TRUST ME! I'll give you guys another way out."

He takes off his hat and flips it upside-down.

"You guys remember me putting the 8 ball in my hat before making my way over to you, right?

This hat I'm wearing… is actually a gift from the Overseer."

Lemy raises an eyebrow. "Overseer?"

His expression changed to that of shock as he witnesses Abraham pull out a pair of thin, orange swords from out of his hat, seemingly defying physics.

"Chin, you played a lot of 'God of War' back in your teenage years, right? Well, here's a real life version inspired by the weapons of Kratos."

"What? Let me see those!" Chin takes the swords from Abraham, examining them closely as he just saw him pull them out of his HAT of all places.

"So… your hat can be used as a magic satchel? That's pretty impressive." Said Chin.

"Got anything for me?" Said Bobby.

Abraham reaches into his hat again and pulls out a six foot tall, rainbow colored spear.

"THIS… is known as the _**Star Spear**_. I think a resistance leader used it against Mario in the Mushroom Kingdom way back when. Here, take it."

Bobby takes the spear from Abraham and examines it.

"What about me? Do I get a weapon?" Said Lemy, seeing the two other guys with theirs.

"Umm. No. At least not yet." Answered Abraham. "I'll give you one the first chance I get. Now let me show you all how to PROPERLY exit this escape room…"

* * *

***KA-BOOM***

Making their way past the hole they made in the wall, Abraham shouts into the winner's room.

"GAME MASTER! THE MOMENT WE SEE YOU! YOU'RE **DEAD!**"

Suddenly, the four guys start to hear something.

*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*

They turn their heads in the direction of the clapping to see the man of the hour.

_**Lincoln 'Jigsaw' Loud.**_

Mid-fifties, facial hair, wearing a magenta t-shirt with jeans and a black jacket.

As soon as he notices the four guys staring at him, he claps faster.

Abraham takes his eyes off of Jigsaw to see the corpse of the Game Master on the floor. Blood forming a puddle under his neck, implying that his death was a quick one.

Lemy gives Jigsaw a puzzled look and said,

"You're… another version of my dad!"

Jigsaw nodded.

"Indeed I am."

He looks over to Abraham.

"Abraham! The son of Kronos! It's good that I finally get to see you after all these years!"

Taking his gaze off the corpse, Abraham starts talking.

"Jigsaw. Have you… JUST arrived here or…"

Chin taps Abraham on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry… WHO THE FUCK IS HE!?"

Abraham faces Chin.

"Lincoln 'Jigsaw' Loud. He was in the original group of Lincoln Louds tasked by the Overseer to start adventuring into the multiverse kinda like Thomas Jefferson tasked Lewis and Clark with adventuring the U.S.A.

He cut ties with both our dads years before we were born."

Jigsaw intervenes.

"But that doesn't mean we can't be friends!

I mean… yeah, sure I killed the Game Master and all the staff here and even slipped into my old habits by taking over the controls for the escape rooms… but you guys were NEVER really in any… DANGER!"

While Chin, Bobby, and Lemy were processing Jigsaw's words, Abraham speaks up while walking up to Jigsaw.

"While we were in those rooms… I told myself I was gonna KILL whoever it was that's carrying out those death traps."

"Well… I'm sorry." Apologized Jigsaw "Looking back in hindsight, I should have done things differently. But what's done is done. You all didn't die and I can join this little… group that you guys put together. I can be a big help like I was with your dad back in the day.

So… you forgive me?"

Abraham takes off his hat and holds it with both of his hands as he looks straight at Jigsaw.

"Oh… I forgive you…"

Then while taking advantage of the relaxed expression of one of his father's former accomplices, Abraham quickly swung his magical hat to Jigsaw's throat…

And severs open his windpipe with the deceptively sharp edge.

The relaxed expression of that Lincoln Loud immediately turns into an expression of fear as he realizes that his throat had been slit, blood rushing out of his throat like a geyser, staining his clothes and the floor below him.

"Glllk! **GLLLK!**" He manages to mumble out while bringing his hands to his neck, not being able to do anything.

The other three guys stare in shock as the Lincoln Loud falls to his knees looking up at the man who slit his throat.

Abraham leans forward and whispers in a way that Lincoln could barely hear him.

"Shhh. Shhh. I… forgive… you."

He then kicks the dying Lincoln in the chest so that he's flat on his back.

The last thing that Lincoln saw before dying are the lights above him suddenly getting brighter before closing his eyes for the last time.

Lincoln 'Jigsaw' Loud… is dead.

Satisfied with his kill, Abraham decides to add insult to Lincoln's injury even though he just died. "Game over!"

"Yeah! You deserve that you son of a bitch!" Shouted Lemy as he runs over to the corpse and kicks it.

As soon as it was kicked, however, a glowing ball of light forms around the dead Lincoln's chest as a shining, small ball about five inches in diameter rolls off the corpse and onto the floor.

Ignoring Lemy's shocked expression, Abraham picks it up.

"It is said that the eighth metal is the stuff of gods. The ninth metal is the dark energy that gives its carrier powers to defy physics. This is the tenth metal… Element X… the metal of pure possibility."

He throws the ball at Lemy, who stumbles a bit but manages to get a hold on it.

"It's just like the power rings from the Green Lantern. Imagine something."

"Okayyy, I don't know what this Green Lantern is but I'll imagine something… umm."

The metal that Lemy's holding suddenly transforms into a rectangular shield, impressing everyone in the room.

"Whoa! So this guy has THIS the whole time!?" Said Lemy.

Abraham looks at the live surveillance footage to see an armored vehicle roll up to the front entrance.

"Guys! We got company! I don't think they're here to congratulate us!"

Noticing that there are mercs with assault rifles rushing inside the building, Chin and Bobby ready their weapons.

"Just relax and pretend you're playing Grand Theft Auto 5 in real life!" Said Abraham, trying to hype them up.

Bobby looks back at Abe.

"Wait… there's a Grand Theft Auto FIVE!?"

"_Oh yeah… I forgot that they're from 2010!" _Thought Abe.

"Here they come!" Shouted Chin.

"THIS SHIT ENDS RIGHT NOW!"

"I CAN AND WILL KILL YOU!"

"COVER ME! I'M GONNA GET THEM!"

Using the Blades of Chaos that Abraham has given him, Chin effortlessly slices open the bodies of seven mercs.

Ignoring their deafening screams, he thinks to himself.

"_I'm not dying today! I'm not dying today! I'M NOT DYING TODAY!"_

One of the mercs then shoots at Chin, but Bobby moves in to shield his brother with his body. The bullets then having no effect since he's holding the Star Spear, which gives him unlimited invincibility like it gave its other users before Bobby.

"I SHOULD BE DEAD!"

In his excitement, he uses the Star Spear to shoot powerful rays of light at the mercs, killing three of them.

Seeing the number of enemies quickly drop in number, Lemy then charges forward at one of the mercs, his newly acquired shield deflecting any bullets.

He forms a knife from the tenth metal in his right hand and slashes it across the thick armor that the merc is wearing, effectively gutting him.

"AAAUGH!"

Lemy then uppercuts the merc with his shield and in an attempt to ignore the gathering tears in his eyes, he proceeds to get on top of the man and continues stabbing him. His thoughts nothing more than a strong desire to survive by any means necessary.

With one merc left standing, he tries to fire his rifle at a distracted Lemy, only to have it get sliced by Abraham's hat, which came back to him like a boomerang.

Panicking, he reaches for his sidearm when suddenly,

***ZAP***

The four guys witness his head get incinerated from the rest of his body by an unknown sixth person in the room.

"Another… Lincoln Loud?" Said Chin, getting a good look at him.

"Hello gentlemen." Greeted the new Lincoln. He looks like he's in his early 30's and is wearing an orange argyle sweater vest and khaki pants.

Putting his laser weapon away, he introduces himself.

"I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Lincoln Loud, I am the newest _C.E.O. of Lincorp!_"

"Lincorp!?" Said Abraham. "I've heard of you guys!"

The Lincoln Loud smiles. "We've been tracking Minos down for a while. The reason why those six people never made it… that was because of us!

Well, now that we have our work… cut out for us. I suppose I'll be heading back to my office at Lincorp Inter-dimensional Plaza. Would you all like to join me!?"

Abraham shrugs his shoulders. He's got nothing better to do.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**(FLASHBACK:**

**Sixteen years earlier)**

Looking down at the city of New Boston from his executive office, Lincoln Loud, the first C.E.O. of Lincorp, starts to speak.

"**War…**

**War never changes."**

He closes his eyes and thinks up images in his head as he keeps talking.

"When I first heard those words back when I started up Fallout 4 for the first time, I thought nothing of it. I just wanted to start playing the game.

Little did I know that only half a decade later, something miraculous would happen to me.

A dying scientist from another universe: someone I only know as 'Rick,' gave me his traversing device before he died.

I built this company with the help from the good people of the Institute, as well as people from many other universes beyond this one.

But then… only a few, short years later, it's almost as if the multiverse decided to show me it's darker side.

I saw other versions of myself that shook me to my core. I almost went into total insanity a few times, but somehow I managed to keep myself together.

In my mind… sanity… did become a distant memory.

I am 60 years old, but after everything I saw, I feel like I'm over 100…

And I am still afraid…

For myself…

For my company…

FOR ALL THESE PEOPLE!"

He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

"Because if my time in the multiverse taught me one thing…

The lesson that I ignored DECADES ago…

**Is that war never changes."**

He turns around to look at the man sitting in a chair across from his desk.

The C.E.O. smiles at his newest friend.

"Isn't that right… **Mark**?"

**Mark Richardson **crosses his arms, taking in every word the C.E.O. said. He knew the moment he got that letter, he had to see this inter-dimensional plaza for himself to believe it.

"War never changes? Yeah…. That sounds about right."

The C.E.O. covers his mouth with his hand to hide the fact that he's giggling. When the time comes when he's too old to work and that he has to appoint someone to take his place, the guy he'll appoint needs to have a similar mindset to that of Mark Richardson.

"_Integrity… __**ISN'T ENOUGH!**_

_Oh my god. I can't believe I'm actually with Mark right now."_

* * *

**(PRESENT DAY)**

Looking at the photo of the first and second C.E.O.s of Lincorp shaking hands; the first C.E.O. also having his hand on the second one's shoulder like a proud father would do with his son, Abraham asks the C.E.O. a question.

"Sooooo… how long HAVE you been C.E.O. here anyway?"

The Lincoln Loud in front of him is spinning around in the executive chair as he answers the question.

"Almost two years now. Lincoln actually came to my universe saying that he LOVED my work involving the **Harga Commune** during my time in Sweden."

"Wait." Interrupted Abraham. "You KNEW about the Harga Commune? I thought they were, you know, highly isolated people with closely guarded secrets."

"They are, for the most part." Continued Lincoln. "They've bought in outsiders before and a few of them actually came to ME with all kinds of crazy stuff to say. Including the events of **Midsommar. **I knew I had to see it for myself. Before all this, I was a professional mental health counselor, you know?"

Abraham slightly nods in agreement.

"So the previous C.E.O. chose you to lead this multiversal corporation because the thinks that you can handle anything that can throw at you? That's awesome."

"I know right!? Four years to achieve my bachelor's in Psychology, one more year for my master's PLUS another year in internship helped me get to where I am today!"

After going through his past, the C.E.O. walks over to the liquor cabinet and grabs a jug of Nukashine.

"The Multiverse is a WONDERFUL place to travel! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"

He pours out two shots of the alcoholic drink and hands one to Abraham, who then sniffs it.

"Is this the reason why I'm up here and that my brothers are exploring the atrium below? I'm the only one in the group that's legally old enough to drink… at least in my universe."

"Well… THAT and I can't trust ANYBODY with drinking the Nukashine! We're BOTH in positions of management who are on our way to become more effective LEADERS!

Believe me… THIS RIGHT HERE…" Lincoln raises his glass. "... Helps you get the job done."

Abraham playfully clinks glasses with the C.E.O. before downing the shot.

It was his first time drinking alcohol.

* * *

"_And I'm so sick of love songs._

_So tired of tears._

_So done with wishing you were still here._

_Said I'm so sick of love songs._

_So sad and slow…"_

Abraham tries reaching for his phone on the nightstand to try to shut the alarm off…

Only for him to fall out of bed.

"_OW! DAMN IT ALL!" _He thought.

"_This damn hangover. I only had one shot! What the hell was IN that damn drink!? Wait… where the hell am I anyway?"_

He then hears a voice to his right.

"So… you finally woke up. Do you even know where you're at right now?"

Abe turns his head to see Lemy, who is looking out of the window of the penthouse.

"To think, there are many different versions of my dad that are MUCH better than the one I live with back at home. This penthouse is amazing!"

Abraham's eyes then find his hat laying sideways on the floor. After picking it up and putting it on, he talks again.

"A penthouse?"

"Yeah… formerly belonging to the PREVIOUS C.E.O.!"

Lemy walks over to a nearby cushioned chair and playfully sits on it, his legs hanging over the armrest.

"The current C.E.O. went on and on about how he knows about the past C.E.O. and how he knew about both your dad and the dad of Bobby and Chin. I don't know EXACTLY what he said; I wasn't listening."

Abe then picks up a coffee pot on the counter that's halfway filled with water and takes a drink from it.

"Ahhhh. I looks to me like SOMEONE doesn't want to move into a penthouse because he had two or three more payments to go on his CURRENT property. So where are Bobby and Chin anyway?"

* * *

"So… in this game… they have you kill… active military members?"

Two miles from Abe and Lemy, Chin is seen playing Grand Theft Auto 5 for the first time with Bobby and someone else watching.

He's playing one of Trevor's rampages.

The guy that they're with pushes his glasses into place.

"Yeah… but they all act like dicks anyway. So it's fine, I guess."

As soon as he said that, Abraham and Lemy let themselves in the apartment room; with Abraham using a spare key card that he lied to receive.

"Okay… it took us two hours to get to this place, so that means I've been out for HOW long?"

The guy who's renting the apartment room rushes up to Abraham.

"HEY! You're another guy that ended up taking my place!"

Abraham stops in his tracks while eyeing this person from his head down to his feet.

"Oh my god! You're **Danny Khan!** I remember seeing you in the Escape Room movie!"

"I KNOW RIGHT!?" Danny laughs. " People using the events of a MOVIE to track all of us down and save our lives!? I CANNOT thank Lincorp enough! This may be the best time of my life! And for the others too!"

Lemy takes a step forward.

"Hey, I'd hate to put a stop to a good conversation, but I think I wanna hear what Abraham has planned for me today so I can annoy him until he takes me back home!"

Abraham faces Lemy.

"Well… I DON'T have anything planned! So unless you wanna take a stroll around New Boston…"

"Hey! I got an idea what you guys can do today!"

The four guys face Danny to see him holding up a Multiverse Traversing Device.

"I've been to a few universes myself lately and I found this AWESOME comic book store that sells comic books from post-apocalyptic universes! And the crazy part is… it's run by MARCO DIAZ!"

Chin raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Who's that?"

"Just a guy in some cartoon show that I assume Danny has watched at some point in his life." Expressed Abraham.

"I may be familiar with this version of Marco anyway.

Now who's up for some comic book shopping?"

* * *

**Mark Richardson is an OC of ShootingStarBlitz.**

**In case any of you are wondering why he's in the story, I suggest checking out the last chapter of 'Lincorp, New Boston' for full context.**

**I would like to also thank Darkhai for implanting the idea for the 'War. War never changes' intro into my mind a few months ago. I was finally able to put that idea into action.**

**Anyway, I WOULD recommend that you read his story, 'The Watchmen House,' but then, you know, _he discontinued it here._**


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**(FLASHBACK:**

**Twelve years earlier)**

Marco Diaz, age 42, is seen eating tacos at a patio bar in his hometown of San Francisco.

"It's been fucking 15 years since I've had these… I got a LOT of catching up to do!"

He then looks up from his meal to see a familiar face making her way towards him.

Jackie. Life seems to be treating her well and it shows.

Without saying a word, she sits down in a chair across from Marco and stares directly into his eyes.

"Okay, umm…" Said Marco. "This is awkward."

Jackie sighs then starts up the conversation.

"Look Marco. I'm just gonna come out and say this… Where have you _been _these last 15 years!?"

"I was imprisoned." Answered Marco truthfully and straight forward. "In another universe far, far away from this one."

Jackie's face lights up with concern but also curiosity at Marco's answer.

"Another universe? Wow. Umm. What were you… doing there?"

Marco puts his taco down and rolls his eyes remembering everything.

"Killing these giant, man-eating creatures known as **'Titans.' **Thousands and thousands of them. Year after year until there weren't any more left. You should have seen how happy the people were. They were practically all lining up to kiss my ass.

I ended up giving Star's wand to **Levi Ackerman **and went to retire at my place until I was forcefully pulled out.

Levi actually ended up leaving with me. I still see him once in a while. He runs a cleaning business in Mewni, last I heard."

Jackie scratches her nose. Unsure of whether or not to believe Marco.

"You know… speaking of Star…

Do you regret it?

_Do you regret __**killing her!?"**_

* * *

**(PRESENT DAY)**

Marco, age 54, snaps out of his train of thought.

He's been having these random flashbacks for a while now and it seems that there's nothing he can do to escape them.

"Well well well. If it isn't Marco Diaz."

Marco then looks at the customer with the top hat.

"Do… do I know you?"

"No… But I've heard about YOU! You may have once fought my dad in a little, dark place called… _Snowdin."_

As soon as Abraham mentioned that place where he temporarily died, the memories came rushing in at full force for Marco.

"You're Lincoln's… son?"

Abraham nodded.

"I'm his ONLY child. I'm here with three of my brothers to check this place out. I've heard of Marvel Comics a few times after I left my home universe. I never really had a chance to check them out until now."

Marco shakes his head in frustration.

"Okay… FIRST… this isn't a library. You PURCHASE the comic books if you want to look at them!

And SECOND! Did you say you have brothers when you JUST said that you're an only child!?"

"Okay. I DO need to explain myself. When I say brothers, I mean we're children of different versions of the SAME guy! You understand now!?"

Marco sighs.

"I think there's something wrong with my head. It just… isn't what it used to be."

Abraham then gets an idea. An internet video he saw a few years ago suddenly comes back to him.

"Alright, let me tell you something else, Marco. Since you established a comic book store to take your mind off of some things you'd rather forget. Consider this a… public service-slash-life advice announcement."

Marco raises an eyebrow.

"Well… I DID try to kill your dad once. It's only fair that I listen to you. Even though I don't HAVE to!"

Abraham clears his throat. It's time to do what he does best.

"Okay… here it is.

I learned this lesson last year around the night of October _32nd._

I remember that it took place that night because earlier that day, my mom told me she's a _virgin._

At the time, I was 21 years old, I have a younger cousin who is _25\. _He came into my room because he said he smelled the sound I was making in the basement earlier.

I was crying a little bit because my dad was yelling at my ankle earlier. It's like he always forgets that I'm deaf from the waist down. He thinks I'm dirty because I wipe my feet before going outside.

At around 7:64, I ended up explaining to my cousin that my friend that I went to high school with, Oscar, said to me that he was gonna tell me something and I playfully said to 'hold that thought.' So he ends up feeling up the girl I was dating at the time.

What he did that day did make me want to die. I ended up pre-ordering death on Amazon but the delivery felt like it was taking a lifetime, you know?

The bad memories just keep flooding in. There was that one day in the 9th grade where I DID lose my life. Oscar actually found it but he held on to it for about three days. He practically stole my life.

Anyway, my cousin told me something that I still remember to this day…

Your life is YOUR life! NEVER take it for granted! Count your blessings!

That's when you'll understand how beautiful life truly is."

"..."

Marco's mind went blank. After what felt like a full minute, he gathers the intelligence to barely speak after what he just heard.

"I'm… gonna go get some… AIR!"

He hops over the counter and makes his way towards the exit. With one foot out the door, he turns his head to face a smirking Abe.

"JUST DON'T STEAL ANYTHING!"

* * *

"The Flash, The Green Arrow, The Green Lantern, Hellboy, Hawkeye, Iron Man; what the hell even ARE these stupid comics!?" Complained Chin.

"Hey Chin, look at this." Chin looks at Lemy holding a comic book. "There's even a SPIDER-MAN! What's so special about a guy with spider powers anyway!?"

Bobby then gets Lemy's attention bt lightly tapping his shoulder.

"Hey, I don't know who this Spider-Man is either; I think he's probably as stupid as he looks, but I don't think it's a good idea to insult superheroes in a fucking comic book store. Somebody could run up to you and knock your _**teeth **_out!"

"What!?" Lemy said in disbelief. "Look around us! There's nobody else here!"

True to Lemy's word, the only people who are in the comic book store right now are the four sons of three Lincoln Louds.

"That's… strange." Said Chin. "This place was PACKED wall to wall with geeks five minutes ago. Where is everyone?"

Lemy then looks at the front door.

"I just saw the owner rush outside. Maybe I should talk to him. Something tells me if I ask Abe for his thoughts, I'm just gonna get a long, thought out lie."

Lemy then makes his way out of the comic book store, leaving the two half brothers chuckling to themselves.

"You know, Bobby. Maybe the inbred freak isn't too bad after all." Said Chin.

* * *

Walking out of the store, Lemy notices that the street outside is completely empty. No cars. No people. Just empty roads and sidewalks. Hell, even the storefronts look more fake than real.

"_Hmm. I have a feeling I'm not in San Francisco anymore. Wait… should I say Kansas? Kansas seems more fitting…_

***WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM***

_WHAT THE HELL!?"_

Lemy stares in shock as he witnesses Marco slamming his head on a storefront window in the distance. Blood running down his face with more being splattered on the cracks.

"Star, I'm sorry for killing you. Star, I'm sorry for killing you. Star, I'm sorry for killing you. Star, I'm sorry for killing you."

"Hey! HEY! STOP THAT!"

Lemy runs up to Marco and pulls him away from the window but it was too late. Bits and pieces of broken glass have made their way deep into his head.

"God damn it!" Cursed Lemy. "What did Abraham even SAY to…"

He stops talking the moment he focuses on Marco's eyes. They seem rather… _scabbed over_. Abraham didn't say anything about _that._

"What the hell is going on?"

As soon as Lemy said what he needed to say, out of nowhere, he feels a powerful gust of wind taking him by surprise…

He looks in the direction of where the wind is coming from and immediately sets his eyes on something that made him drop the corpse of Marco Diaz.

"What the…" Lemy tries to make sense of… whatever this… thing is but couldn't really describe it except for a single word.

"Heh. Heh." Lemy laughs as his eyes then starts to show a strange pattern.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha. I got to find the others. Haha.

_It's… _**so… **_**BEAUTIFUL!"**_

* * *

"Hehe. I love you, She-Hulk."

Deciding to break Marco's rule, Abraham is seen ogling at pictures of the Hulk's cousin. Taking in every curve and every expression as he turns the pages.

"_**Do you need any help, Abe?" **_He hears Lemy, who just came back inside.

Keeping his gaze on the green superheroine, he answers Lemy's question.

"I'm fine, Lemy. Thanks for asking."

Lemy however, isn't having any of that.

"_**There's something beautiful outside, Abe. Let me show you." **_

His eyes still on the comic, Abraham comments,

"I don't know, man. It's gotta be really fucking beautiful if you wanna get me to take my eyes off of _this._"

Lemy then grabs Abraham's wrist, mildly disturbing him as he wrestles it away, dropping the comic in the process.

"Hey! What the hell's your prob-"

He then looks straight into Lemy's eyes, almost immediately recognizing the weird pattern that he first saw many years ago in a movie.

"Holy shit." He curses. "**BOBBY, CHIN, COVER YOUR EYES NOW!"**

Looking up from the comic books, the half brothers look confused.

"Huh?" "Why should we?"

Abe turns to face Lemy.

"We're leaving this universe RIGHT NOW!"

"_**NO!" **_Lemy shouts out as he punches Abe in the face, causing him to stumble back a little.

"_**EVERYONE'S GOTTA SEE IT! EVERYONE! IT'LL CLEANSE THE MULTIVERSE!"**_

Bobby then moves to get to the exit.

"Okay… THIS I gotta see!"

Ignoring the pain on the left side of his face, Abraham screams out,

"NO! BOBBY DON'T!"

"Fuck you, Abe. I won't let you lie to me anymore." Said Bobby, who flips Abraham the bird as he walks outside.

"Damn it. His funeral." Abe looks at Chin. "Chin, keep Lemy off of me!"

"Hm?"

Abe takes off his hat and pulls out a simple, black blindfold and quickly puts it on in under five seconds.

Lemy then rushes over to Abe.

"_**TAKE THE GODDAMN BLINDFOLD OFF!"**_

His way gets blocked however, when Chin pushes him to the ground.

"Get away from him, you _inbred abomination!_"

"_What do I do!? What do I do!? What do I do!?" _Abraham is now in panic mode. Everything was under his control for the longest time and now he starts to regret ever even agreeing to travel the multiverse. How can he fight an enemy that would make him kill himself if he sees it?

"_**Don't make me use THIS!" **_He hears Lemy yell.

"WHOA! That's a knife! THAT'S A KNIFE!" He hears Chin panic.

"_OH GOD. CHIN, BOBBY, LEMY! I'M SO SORRY!_

_I SHOULD NEVER HAVE…"_

"HEY GUYS!"

The three guys look in Bobby's direction. Silence both in the store and in their minds.

"All I saw is the corpse of Marco! There's no beautiful creature outside!"

"Huh?" Said a confused Abraham as he pulls his blindfold off.

"_**What do you mean no beautiful creature!?" **_Yells Lemy as he lets go of Chin and rushes back outside.

Seeing his chance to put an end to it all, Abraham reaches into his magic hat again and pulls out an expandable security baton.

Back outside, Lemy is seen lamenting.

"_**It was JUST HERE! I saw it! Where did it go!? Does it even WANT to be-"**_

***WHAM***

Abraham speed walked to Lemy and strikes him across the back of his head with his baton, knocking him out cold and having him collapse on the pavement.

He turns around to see Bobby and Chin walk outside. He yells out to them.

"You guys carry him! We're going back to Lincorp!"


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**(FLASHBACK:**

**Six years earlier)**

"_**Cut my life into pieces,**_

_**This is my LAST RESORT!"**_

Luna Loud, age 37, is seen singing one of her favorite songs while playing her signature purple guitar that she customized herself.

"_**Suffocation!**_

_**No breathing!**_

_**Don't give a … if I cut my arm, bleeding!"**_

She continues playing to the deafening music.

"_**THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!"**_

Suddenly, the music stops, the loud atmosphere in the basement being replaced by calm and quiet.

Luna sighs and looks to the electrical socket where the amplifier is plugged in.

"Son… you know it's dangerous to yank electrical cords… AND WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY SONG OFF!?"

Throwing the amplifier plug on the floor, Lemy, age 10 answers his mother's question.

"This song sucks, mom! It's way too loud! I couldn't hear myself think!"

Luna closes her eyes and shakes her head. "You're becoming more like your sister."

A grin shows itself on Lemy's face. "Ha! Which one!?"

That's when Luna starts to get angry at her son.

"You know which one! Lyra! Let me tell you something, Lemy! What's my name!?"

"Luna." Lemy answered flatly with his arms crossed.

"My _full _name, dude."

"...Luna Loud."

"Exactly! With a name like _that_, man, like…" Luna shrugged. "... How am I _not _supposed to play the song loud? I'm just being true to who I am!"

Lemy sighs, understanding his mother's argument but not agreeing with her.

"Hey, if you want to be deaf when you turn 50, like what Lyra always says 'God bless.' But I refuse to let my hearing be tainted by that… GARBAGE!"

Luna looks down at the floor.

"Wow. I really thought my second kid would be more like me. I guess I still haven't learned my lesson."

Lemy shakes his head and exits the basement, leaving his mom to lean on the wall and lament.

She softly sings,

"**I never realized I was spread too thin.**

**Till it was too late, and I was empty within, hungry.**

**Feeding on chaos… living in **_**sin…**_"

Five minutes later, Lemy continues to scroll through his phone in his room when a video catches his attention.

"_**Hollywood's Bleeding ****by Post Malone? **_That's gotta be the weirdest song title I've ever read. I'm gonna take a listen."

He starts the video and listens in at the lyrics as well as the background music.

"_**Hollywood's bleeding, **vampires feedin'_

_Darkness turns to dust._

_Everyone's gone, but no one's leavin'_

_Nobody left but us._

_Tryna chase a feelin', but we'll never feel it._

_Ridin' on the last train home._

_Dyin' in our sleep, we're living out a dream._

_We only make it out alone..."_

Lemy rocks his head back and forth. "YEAH! Now THIS is music! Why haven't I heard of this guy before!?"

* * *

**(PRESENT DAY)**

"What do you mean you can't help us!"

Abraham slams his fists on the C.E.O.'s desk with Bobby and Chin laughing to themselves behind him.

"You want me to repeat myself!?" Yelled the C.E.O. as he stands up from his chair.

"Altering memories using Lincorp tech would require the person doing the altering to look at the memories of the person that's having their memories altered! If what you're saying is true and that these monsters can have people committing suicide just by LOOKING at them… I can't take any risks!"

"**Let it go… Can't hold it back anymore." **Sang Chin, immediately catching Abraham's attention.

"We get it, Chin! My idea to involve the trolls of Arendelle was a stupid one! Just let it… JUST DROP IT OKAY!?"

Ignoring Abraham, Chin keeps singing with his brother joining along.

"**Let it go… Let it go. Turn away and slam the door!"**

"**GUYS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" **Shouted a furious Abraham.

"_Out of all the movies in all of human existence, I HAD to show them THAT one!"_

The C.E.O. chimes in.

"Hey, as much as I love listening to the songs from 'Frozen,' I got something else to say. Maybe when your friend wakes up, he'll probably forget all about the monster. And if he doesn't… he'll probably get over it. The multiverse is so vast, he'll probably live a million LIFETIMES and never see it."

"NO!" Shouted Abraham. "What you're saying is WRONG! You could wake up tomorrow and see everybody dead because of this beast! I only hope that none of them are capable of multiversal travel. There are very few things that are more EVIL than that thing in existence!"

"EVIL!? HA! I'm a man of science, Abraham. The only other doctor in my family other than Lisa. I don't believe in such a silly concept." Said the C.E.O.

Abraham squints his eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Abe, what you call 'evil' is just a social construct made by people who carry out childish fantasies against those who they ALREADY have dehumanized in their heads. In my experience in the multiverse, I haven't seen anything that made me change my mind.

EVIL… does not exist. SIN… also does not…"

Abraham then interrupts the C.E.O. Lincoln by speaking through gritted teeth.

"If evil doesn't exist then how do you explain the cults scattered across the multiverse where _**EIGHT YEAR OLD GIRLS**_ are being raped by other versions of…"

"LOOK!" Interrupts the C.E.O. "If you would just LISTEN TO ME! A qualified person leading a multiversal corporation, you would understand."

He opens his desk drawer and pulls out a purple book.

"In my new book, 'The Multiversal Mindset.' Available for purchase in the Lincorp Multiversal Bookstore, should be the first thing that you see when you walk in. I go into GREAT DETAIL…"

"DAMN YOU AND YOUR BOOK!" Screamed Abraham as he snatches the book out of the C.E.O.'s hand and throws it aside.

"If you're not willing to help us! We have nothing to talk about! I'll find a way to save Lemy MYSELF!"

As he turns around to leave the corporate office, the C.E.O. shouts out to him.

"WAIT! I have one more thing to say!"

Abraham turns around with a sorrowful look on his face.

The C.E.O. looks at Bobby and Chin, who then smile back at him.

With a renewed smile on his face, he starts singing.

"**Do you wanna build a snowman!?**

**Come on, let's go and PLAAAY!"**

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Abraham screams as he covers his ears and runs out of the office. The doors slam shut behind him.

Not caring that they were left behind, Bobby and Chin sing along with the C.E.O.

"**I never see you anymore.**

**Come out the door. **

**It's like you've gone AWAAAY!"**

The three guys laugh.

* * *

**(THREE HOURS LATER**

**In a separate universe in Roswell, New Mexico.**

**July 5, 1961)**

"_**Die Burger of Roswell. BE LOYAL! Remember to honor Der liebe Fuhrer today by reading a page of Mein-"**_

_***CRACK***_

The device from the Third Reich ceases to function as Abraham slams it into the ground with a baseball bat that he pulled from his magic hat.

Sighing, he talks to himself.

"The Overseer has appointed me to be the judge of the Sin Kids. But if I'm being HONEST HERE… and I HATE being honest… I really don't care about the monstrous amounts of incest and pedophilia that involve all those different versions of my FUCKING DAD going on in other universes. All that shit isn't even any of my business in the fucking first place! Here's my judgement: I'm gonna pretend all that shit doesn't EXIST… and if something bad happens to the bad Lincoln's, then they deserve it… and if nothing bad happens… then they're still just an extremely small and minute part of the multiverse anyway."

He looks behind him.

"Isn't that right… **Dipper? Or Finn? **Whichever of you cared enough to listen."

Behind Abraham were Finn Mertens, AKA 'The Red Hood' and Dipper Pines, age 45, who is dressed in a strange ninja costume that has a bat symbol on the chest piece that reminded Abraham of a superhero that he saw in the comic book store earlier and a pointy eared black mask.

Scattered all around them are the corpses of Nazi soldiers. Blood pooling all over their shoes as the stench tickles the noses of the three.

"I cannot believe what my ears are hearing right now. I find myself saying that more every year." Said Finn. His old age of 62 catching up to him.

"What I couldn't believe is that my sister flirted with you at first sight! You're like… HALF her age!" Said Dipper. "We see BAD things and then we try to make them RIGHT It's simple as that!"

Abraham stares daggers into Dipper. "And how do you KNOW what's right and wrong? Isn't pushing what YOU think is right on people from other universes who might have a slightly different OPINION on what is right kinda… _immoral? _But then again, what is immoral anyway?

Is it a social concept that people came up with to judge others?" He playfully lifts his hands up. "But then I repeat myself."

Dipper scratches the back of his mask.

"Everything you just said just made everything **Samurai Jack **said to me during my 15 years with him sound more childish."

Finn then speaks up.

"Wait, hold on Dipper. Maybe we've all gone a little crazy over the years, some more than others. We as a people have the DESIRE to have and enforce laws not because of **altruism **or anything like that, but because we have a stronger lust for a cohesive society. An extremely dim light in a whole galaxy of darkness. An attempt to explain the in-explainable. Maybe THAT'S truly the origin of the moral and immoral terms."

"But what about all the stuff we CAN'T explain?" Questioned Abraham. "The monster killed Marco without ever having to even touch him."

There really was nothing Dipper can do except to laugh at Abraham's statement.

"Heh. I know who WON'T die if they look at the monster. _**The Overseer. **_He's GOTTA be the craziest person in the multiverse right now. HE could help you with your problem."

"Yeah right!" Said Abraham. "If the Overseer wanted to help, he'd have done it by now! Besides, there's no way I can reach him. It's impossible."

"No… I wouldn't say IMPOSSIBLE…" Dipper trails off.

Abraham looks directly at him. "What do you mean?"

Finn speaks for the both of them. "When the Overseer released us from imprisonment, the first thing we did was scout out Steven Universe.

He told us that as thanks for saving the lives of Sin Kids, The Overseer gave him a magic button that, when pressed, would teleport him to the Overseer Manor. If he hadn't used it during those 12 years between then and now…"

"I could potentially give Lemy the help he needs!" Said Abraham, finishing Finn's sentence.

"Yeah… you may want to start with him." Said Dipper. "He founded **'Steven University' **last I heard. He teaches courses there from time to time if I remember correctly."

Abraham's magic hat then starts glowing.

"Then I know where I'm gonna go next. I just gotta pick up Tweedledee and Tweedledum first and then it's back to school. Thanks guys… it was great having this conversation with you."

Abraham then teleports out of the universe, leaving the two alone.

"Good kid, isn't he Dipper?" Said Finn.

"I got no complaints. I hope I don't have to explain to Mabel soon that…

***BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP***

Ah… I spoke too soon."

Dipper activates his gauntlet projection screen, showing his middle aged sister on the other end.

"_DIPPER! Can I talk to Abraham again!? I wanna know what he thinks of this sweater I'm gonna be wearing for our date!"_

Dipper takes his mask off and pinches the top of his nose. "Mabel, Abraham already made it clear that he isn't into you! He's gone! He left!"

"_WHAT!? I thought he was just being-"_

Dipper cuts his sister off by deactivating the projection screen. He looks at Finn.

"Please tell me you're gonna forget all that."

Finn smirks.

"Nah. It's good to know that some things just never change."

* * *

**Yeah, Dipper Pines is Batman now. It's about time that I give the title to someone a little bit more deserving of it other than the main antagonist of 'Things are Happening 1.'**

**Also, at this point I think it's no longer accurate for me to say that the songs of Post Malone are a guilty pleasure anymore. There's really nothing to be ashamed about after listening to his newest album. I'm glad I made my version of Lemy Loud a Post Malone fan when I did.**


	11. Chapter 10

**This chapter is just a bunch of dialog with next to nothing happening.**

* * *

Chapter 10

"Are you SURE this is the right universe?"

"Yeah, unless you want to argue that AUNT LISA got something wrong!"

With a strong desire to find their brother and bring him back home, Lacy and Lupa Loud find themselves wandering around Lincorp Interdimensional Plaza.

This is mainly thanks to Aunt Lisa, who has given the sisters permission to use her Multiverse Traversing Device.

"Wherever Lemy is, we gotta get him back quick." Said Lupa. "I don't think I can listen to anymore crying from Lyra and Aunt Luna."

"And praying. Don't forget praying."

"Ah. Of course. That too. Thanks sis."

Lupa playfully ruffles Lacy's hair a little bit, earning some soft laughter from her.

"Lets see what they have at the coffee bar. We're gonna need a lot of energy if we're gonna find these guys." Suggested Lupa.

* * *

"Here you are, Zoey. I made sure to get the best they got."

Zoey smiles at Ben. Crossing into another universe had probably made her that happiest she's ever been in a long time.

"Thank you."

If it wasn't for Lincorp; Jason, Mike, Danny, and Amanda would have died in those escape rooms. Now they're sitting with her in the plaza's coffee bar.

Taking a seat, Ben asks, "So… where's Danny?"

"Oh, Danny's not gonna be joining us." Said Jason. "He said that he's gonna… be doing his own thing for now."

"Yeah." Said Mike. "I guess anything's possible now that we have the multiverse available to us. I feel like a superhero or something."

"I wonder if Lincorp's hiring right now. I'll ask around the first chance I get." Said Amanda.

"Guys, I understand that you're happy and all, but I still need to talk about why I've gathered you all here."

Everyone looks at Zoey, giving her their full attention.

For a split second, she makes a note of a young woman with snow white hair sit near them but quickly dismisses it.

"That movie… that the C.E.O. shown us before cutting us loose…"

"Yeah, what about it?" Said Ben.

"Well… I did some digging… and it turns out there's a SEQUEL that he isn't telling us about!"

"What!?" "No way!" "... Seriously, a sequel?"

"Now let me be clear on one thing… I don't know what's IN the sequel."

* * *

Walking into the coffee bar, Chin and Bobby are carrying on with their conversation.

"Man, if I knew Abe would scream like that when he heard us sing… I would have sang sooner." Said Chin.

"I hear you. It's like he regretted ever meeting us! Haha! Anyway, you think they serve hot chocolate here? Like what was served on the Polar Express?"

"Oh sure, that's what YOU would like to order!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

Sitting down in a chair back in the former C.E.O.'s penthouse, Abraham thinks to himself.

"_Dad… you made it look so easy. Have you even FELT the way I feel right now and just didn't tell me!?_

_Ah, it doesn't matter now. The past is in the past."_

Putting his hat back on, he stands up.

"Hm. I have a very sudden craving for a strawberry milkshake."

* * *

"Can you believe how great this place is, Lacy? They even accepted my credit card!"

"Yeah, but at what cost?"

Lupa playfully shrugs as she sips her bubble tea.

"Anyway Lace, I have a… fun question for you."

"Ask away."

"Okay… say you're 40 years old and…"

"WAIT! Who's 40!?"

"Just say… PRETEND YOU'RE 40!"

"I'm a little girl! I'm not 40!"

"Just… PRETEND you're 40, okay!? You're traveling the multiverse and you fall in love with an alternate version of our dad who is… 10 years old."

Lacy relaxes in her chair.

"Oh… this can only end ONE way."

Lupa continues with her question.

"You're four times older than that Lincoln, you couldn't marry him, could you?"

"No." Lacy simply answered.

"Right, then you wait five years. This Lincoln is now 15, you're 45. Now you're only three times as old."

Hearing her sister say that brightens up Lacy's eyes a bit.

"Then you wait… 15 more years. Lincoln's now 30, you're 60… Now you're only twice as old."

Now it's Lacy's entire face that's brightening up.

"He's catching up."

"Yes, yes. Now here's the question: how long do you have to wait until you and that Lincoln are the same age?"

Lacy takes a few seconds to think before giving her answer.

"It's… it's just ridiculous."

"How? How's it ridiculous?"

"If I keep waiting for that Lincoln to get older, he'll reject me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He'll be older than me! He's gonna have to wait for me!"

"Why should that Lincoln have to wait for you!?"

Lacy then slows down her speech.

"I was nice enough to wait for HIM!

Who does he think he is anyway? He wouldn't want to wait for me. I don't HAVE to marry him."

"MARRY HIM!?" Lupa shouts out, shocking her sister. "Wait a minute! Do you know this Lincoln Loud!?"

"Well… no."

"Then why should you marry a boy that you don't even KNOW!?"

Ignoring her sister's next comment, Lupa pulls out her pack of cigarettes. Good thing they're sitting in the smoking section.

* * *

"Escape Room 3? Escape Room… Resurrection? Escape Room… Generations? Escape Room… The Animated Series?"

Ben is listing off hypothetical Escape Room movies.

"I'm sure if we look hard enough in the multiverse, we'll find at least SOME of them."

"Ben, we need to be SERIOUS about this! We need to confront…"

Zoey was then cut off by Jason.

"Whoa now, Zoey. I think I'm gonna have to agree with Ben on this one. I'd go and see Escape Room: Resurrection. I looked pretty dead in that one scene where he killed me."

"Yeah!" Agreed Mike. "Escape Room: Generations doesn't sound too bad either. Maybe the children of Minos executives or something end up taking over escape rooms."

"Wow." Said Zoey. "This conversation really IS happening right now."

She faces Ben.

"Just how are you gonna make an animated series out of a movie like THAT!? Are you gonna rip off the plot from 'Lost' or something?"

The moment Zoey said 'animated series' snaps Amanda out of her train of thought.

She could have sworn she overheard the weirdest thing from the other table.

* * *

"Now here's what I don't understand!"

Chin looks at his brother as he places the mug down.

Bobby begins to make his statement. "The monster makes people kill themselves as soon as they look at it, right?"

"Right."

"So why would LEMY have us look at it? He saw Marco kill himself?"

"Well…" Chin slightly pulls his seat forward.

"I think Lemy must have figured that us seeing the monster ONCE and THEN dying is better than living 60 years WITHOUT seeing it! I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's got to be really fucking beautiful if he really wants to get us to look at it so bad."

Bobby then takes another sip of his hot chocolate.

"Yeah, I guess that makes-"

"HEY!"

Bobby and Chin look towards the direction of the voice.

"I heard you say my brother's name! Where the hell is he!?"

Lupa and Lacy have confronted the brothers. The five sole survivors from the other table have stopped their conversation to observe the conflict.

"OH! You must be LUPA!" Said Chin. "Listen… Lemy isn't in a… returnable state right now but…"

"STOP!" Interrupted Lacy. "I don't want to hear all that! Tell us where our brother is or I'm knocking your _**TOOTHS **_out!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh." Giggling from the other table can be heard.

"I'm sorry?" Questioned Chin, unsure of what he just heard. "You're gonna knock my WHAT out?"

"YOUR TOOTHS! I'LL KNOCK THEM ALL OUT!" Lacy continues yelling.

"Heh. Heh. Ha ha ha ha!"

"Okay." Continues Chin, trying to hold back laughter. "Say it one more time just so we're all on the same page here."

"_**YOUR TOOTHS!**_" Yelled Lacy, who is getting increasingly annoyed at having to repeat herself.

As soon as she said that, a voice from the third table speaks out.

"Don't worry about it, friend. I'll set her straight!"

Zoey makes her way toward Lacy and Lupa. Ben, Jason, Mike, and Amanda looking invested in what she's gonna say next.

"So…" Begins Zoey as she claps her hands together. "You wanna make a word plural so you put an S at the end of the word, right?"

"Uh… YEAH! That's how it WORKS!" Said Lacy, eying Zoey up and down.

"Well… no. That's not always the case." Said Zoey.

"OH YEAH!? Give me an example since you think you're so smart and all!"

"Okay…" Zoey looks down at Lacy's shoes.

"What are your shoes and socks covering right now?"

"That's easy!" Said Lacy. "They're covering my _foots!"_

"Foots?" "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Astonished by Lacy's stupidity, Zoey then looks at Lupa.

"Aren't you supposed to be her friend or something? Correct her!"

Lupa takes a step forward, ready and willing to defend her sister whether or not she's wrong.

"There's two foots, miss! The left foot and the right foot! Two foots! Foots!"

Zoey takes a step back. "Wow… um. I don't think I can actually teach you two anything."

"RIGHT!" Yelled Lacy. "Because we're SMART!"

Zoey returns back to her table as Bobby finishes off his hot chocolate. Wiping his mouth off with his jacket sleeve, he speaks to the sin sisters.

"Okay Lacy, I'll tell you what. We're gonna give you and your sister both a challenge and if you two PASS… we'll bring out Lemy. Deal?"

Lacy smirks and crosses her arms.

"Heh. I NEVER back down from a challenge! What are we doing!?"

Now it's Bobby's turn to smirk. "Have you ever heard of the children's card game, **Duel Monsters?**"

"DUEL MONSTERS!?" Shouted Lupa and Chin in disbelief.

* * *

**Yeah, the next chapter will be Bobby and Chin V.S. Lupa and Lacy in a game of Yu-Gi-Oh.**

**It's more of a tribute to my other fanfiction than anything else and since then, I've actually quit the game just so I could spend more time on writing. A pretty good investment if you ask me. **

**So look forward to the epic tag duel if you're into that stuff. If you're not into the game, then I guess you can skip to chapter 12.**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

On the roof of the empty comic book store, Bobby shouts out to Lupa and Lacy.

"NO SHARING OF LIFE POINTS! 8000 points EACH!"

Chin tugs on Bobby's sleeve.

"I don't like this, man. What if the Bird Box monster shows up again?"

"Well… if it does, I only hope it's as beautiful as Lemy says it is."

Sighing to himself, Chin readies his duel disk.

"EVERYBODY READY!" Yelled Bobby. "IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"

**Bobby LP 8000 Chin LP 8000**

**Lupa LP 8000 Lacy LP 8000**

"I just want to go on the record and say that this is a STUPID GAME!" Yelled Lupa.

"Fair enough! I go first!" Said Bobby.

"I'll start by activating the field spell, **Gateway to Chaos! **When it's activated, I can fetch **Black Luster Soldier - Super Soldier. **Then I summon Mathematician **(ATK 1500). ** I'll use its effect to send Super Soldier Soul from my deck to the graveyard. I then will remove it from play to fetch Beginning Knight. I'll set one card face down. Your turn, Lacy."

"Okay… I DRAW!" Shouted Lacy as she over dramatizes her action.

"I summon Black Stone of Legend! I'll use its effect to tribute itself and special summon Red Eyes Black Dragon **(ATK 2400). **

"_Red Eyes… Black Dragon?" _Thought Bobby.

Lacy continues her turn.

"I activate the spell card, **Inferno Fire Blast**! Chin will take damage equal to Red Eyes Black Dragon's attack points!"

"Damn it!" Yelled Chin as his life points fell to 5,600.

Looking at the remaining cards in her hand, Lacy smiles.

"I end my turn."

Chin draws a card. _"I never played this game before, but I'll be damned if I lose to an abomination!"_

He looks over the cards in his hand.

"I can't do anything right now. I'll set one monster and one card face down and end my turn."

Lupa smirks. _"We'll get our brother back in no time."_

"I activate the magic card, **Trade-In! **I'll discard Blue Eyes White Dragon and draw 2 cards. Next, since I have another Blue Eyes White Dragon in my hand, I can special summon Blue Eyes Alternative White Dragon **(ATK 3000)**."

"_Blue Eyes White Dragons! I should have known!" _Thought Bobby.

Lupa continues her turn.

"I normal summon Manju of the Ten Thousand Hands. I'll use its effect to fetch White Dragon Ritual. I'll then activate the effect of Sage with Eyes of Blue from my hand; tributing Manju to special summon Dragon Spirit of White **(ATK 2500)**. When it's summoned, I can banish Bobby's set card!"

"Damn! My Mirror Force!" Yelled Bobby as he moves his card to the graveyard.

"I'll attack Mathematician with Alternative Dragon!"

**Bobby LP 6500**

"When Mathematician is destroyed by battle, I draw one card!"

"I'll attack you directly with Dragon Spirit of White!

**Bobby LP 4000**

I end my turn. Go ahead."

Bobby draws a card.

"Okay… time for my counterattack…

I remove 3 counters from Gateway to Chaos so I can add **Super Soldier Synthesis** from my deck to my hand…

I'll activate it! I tribute Beginning Knight from my hand and Evening Twilight Knight from my deck to ritual summon… **Black Luster Soldier - Super Soldier! (ATK 3000)**

Because of the two knights used to summon it, the soldier has 4 effects. With the first, I'll banish Alternative Dragon!"

Blue Eyes Alternative White Dragon vanishes from the field, earning Bobby a mean look from Lupa.

"I'll attack Dragon Spirit of White with my soldier!

**Lupa LP 7500**

For the second effect, you take damage equal to your dragon's attack points!

**Lupa LP 5000**

For the next effect, if my soldier attacked a monster this turn, it can attack one more time!

**Lupa LP 2000**

Heh. Your turn, Lacy."

"You'll pay for that, Bobby!" Yelled Lacy as she draws a card.

"Perfect! I activate **Red Eyes Insight**! By discarding Red Eyes Retro Dragon, I can fetch **Red Eyes Fusion! **

I'll activate it! Sending Red Eyes Black Flare Dragon and Meteor Dragon from my deck to the graveyard to fusion summon **Meteor Black Comet Dragon! (ATK 3500) **I'll use it's effect! Sending one Red Eyes Black Dragon from my hand to the graveyard to inflict 1200 points of damage to you, Bobby!"

**Bobby LP 6800**

"You're not even close to winning."

"I'll attack your soldier with Meteor Black Comet Dragon!"

**Bobby LP 6300**

"When my soldier is destroyed, I can special summon Charging Gaia the Fierce Knight **(ATK 2300).**"

"Hmm. I'll then attack Chin's set monster with Red Eyes Black Dragon."

"It was Trojan Horse." Said Chin. "It gets destroyed."

"That ends my turn."

"Okay, my turn." Said Chin as he draws a card.

"First, I'll activate a spell card… **BOOK OF ECLIPSE, **all monsters are now in face down defence mode!"

"Dang it!" Said Lacy as she repositions her monsters.  
"I will now activate my trap card, **Back to the Front!** I'll bring back Trojan Horse from my graveyard. **(DEF 1500) **My monster counts as two tributes for an earth attribute monster, so I'll tribute it to tribute summon… **Ancient Gear Golem (ATK 3000)."**

"Wow. That's a BIG robot!" Commented Lacy.

"That's not all!" Said Chin. "I activate **Ancient Gear Fusion. **Since Ancient Gear Golem is on my field, I can use monsters from my DECK as material!

I fuse Ancient Gear Golem with three other Ancient Gear monsters to fusion summon… **ANCIENT GEAR CHAOS GIANT (ATK 4500)!"**

"WOW! THAT'S AN EVEN _**BIGGER **_ROBOT!" Yelled a slightly concerned Lacy. Lupa also slightly nodding in agreement.

"Ancient Gear Chaos Giant's effect states that it can attack all monsters on my opponent's side of the field AND it does piercing damage! Both of your dragons have 2000 defence points, right?"

"Ummm…" Lacy takes a moment to view her monsters stats. "...yes."

"Yeah, I'll attack your monsters with Chaos Giant, and with its effect, you take 5000 points of damage!

**Lacy LP 3000**

I end my turn!"

Sighing to herself, Lupa places her hand on top of her deck.

"I'm not playing this game anymore. _**I'M DONE!**_"

"WHAT!?" Shouted everyone, including Lacy.

"You guys play like you really want to keep our brother until you're finished with him. Well… KEEP HIM! SEE IF I CARE!" Lupa yells with tears filling her eyes.

"Lupa…" Lacy walks over to her sister to comfort her.

"Cheer up, sis. We'll find a way to find him… togeth-"

"_**LUPA AND LACY HAVE LOST THE DUEL!**_

_**THEY SHALL BE BANISHED TO THEIR OWN UNIVERSE!"**_

"Huh?" "Uh? Did I just her daddy's voi-"

The two sisters were then cut off. The reason being that they were teleported by some unknown higher power.

Bobby looks at his brother. "Chin, you don't think that…"

Chin stops looking at the sky and faces his brother. "I do, Bobby. That was the _**Overseer **_speaking…

I thought Abraham was bullshitting us when he talked about…"

"I was talking about _what_!? Chin?"

"_**AAAAAH!"**_

Chin and Bobby were shocked and startled at the sudden voice from right behind them only to have that shock subsided when they saw Abraham… slurping from a cup in his hand.

***SLLLLLLLLURP***

"Mmm… Blended milk and ice cream. None of that crappy shake mix that you find in McDonald's or places like that."

Making a mental note to himself to later visit this restaurant that Abraham went to. This… **Braums. **Chin asks Abe a question.

"So… have you made any progress on what we're gonna do with Lemy?"

***SLLLLLLLLURP***

Finishing off the rest of his milkshake, Abraham then tosses it off the rooftop onto the empty street below, not caring that he littered.

"We three sons of Lincolns are going to Steven University!"

Bobby looks over the edge of the rooftop, trying to take in the fact that Abe just littered.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**(FLASHBACK:**

**Four years earlier)**

Steven Universe, age 48, is seen holding up a single, white flower.

He felt obligated to revisit his universe again after hearing the news, he just hopes that he won't run into anybody during his very short time back.

"Dad." He starts to talk.

"Every single day since the day I left, you blamed yourself for what I've decided to do. You lived in deep depression and with no purpose. If I had a chance to do things differently, I would have kept in touch.

*SNIFF* But it's too late now.

I put the multiverse above my own family. Many lives were saved but it was at the cost of apathy.

I should have known. We all should do the most with the very limited time that we have left in this world.

You didn't get a chance to spend any of it with me; I'm the one to blame for that.

You shouldn't have felt sorry for yourself, you should have moved on with your life like you did with… Rose Quartz?"

Steven scratches his head, unsure of what to say next.

"Umm… I met the Overseer of the Multiverse. His name's Lincoln Loud. So… that's cool. I guess.

He even gave me a magic button so I can go and talk to him whenever I want."

He sighs.

"Okay… one more thing to say, then I'll leave."

He sets the flower down on the grassy ground.

"There are many other Greg Universes out there in the Multiverse who are just straight up better people than you were, dad…"

He then walks away from his dad's grave.

"But I wouldn't trade you for any of them."

* * *

**(PRESENT DAY)**

"Has anyone ever heard the saying, 'A watched pot never boils?'"

Steven Universe, wearing a casual suit and gray tie with his hair slicked back, is giving a lecture to his students.

Right in the center are Abraham, Bobby, and Chin. Listening in on every word and Chin even taking notes.

Steven continues his lecture.

"Well… on a quantum scale, that may actually be true! This all comes down to the Quantum Zeno Effect!"

Abraham looks over at Chin's notes to find the one thing he's expecting.

'**A system can't change while you're watching it!'**

"_Deja vu." _He thought.

"It may be one of the ODDEST things in Quantum Physics.

Simply put… OBSERVATION STOPS MOVEMENT!

While being watched, atoms don't change…"

The bell then rang, signaling the end of class.

* * *

"Ugh, I think I got a migraine."

Steven leans back in his hair and sips his coffee. Who knew teaching can be so hard? He misses the days back when he was young and going on adventures almost daily. He even got the chance to meet some interesting people.

"Mr. Universe! Mr. Universe!"

That caught Steven's attention as he notices three similar looking guys all with different ethnicities rushing towards him.

He stands up.

"Please… guys. My DAD is Mr. Universe. YOU GUYS may call me STEVEN… or Mr. Quartz; whichever you prefer."

Abraham laughs a little. "Sorry… Mr. Quartz, my name is Abraham Lincoln Loud and these are my brothers from another universe, Bobby and Chin. We have a problem right now and I believe that you can be a great help to us!"

Steven smiles. "Heh. What exactly do I have that I can help you guys with? Look at me!"

"Excuse me!" Interrupted Chin. "What I believe Abe here is saying is that you have something that can directly take you to the Overseer that was provided by the Overseer himself, is that correct?"

Steven went wide-eyed at Chin's statement.

"H-how do you know about the Over-"

Bobby steps forward.

"Our dad is an Overseer FANATIC! He never shuts up about the guy! You may remember him going by the name of… Sol Aris."

Steven strokes his chin, remembering the past.

" OH YEAH! I remember! It was SO LONG AGO! Now I'm meeting his SONS! WOW!"

He then opens a drawer on his desk and pulls out a small, red button.

"All this time, I NEVER had a reason to use this! May I ask WHY you need to see the Overseer?"

Abraham explains.

"Our brother and friend, Lemy, has seen a Bird Box monster and we're trying to get the Overseer to help fix him."

"Oh… oh no." Said Steven, shocked at what he's hearing.

"I have… HEARD of these monsters before. I just never thought I'd actually SEE someone who's seen it."

He then hands out the button to Abraham, who gladly takes it.  
"I do hope you find what you're looking for." Said Steven. "But the Overseer just isn't… the same as he used to be. He's gotta be more crazier than he was all those years ago."

"Don't worry about me." Said Abraham. "I've seen the Overseer three weeks ago back when I first started Multiverse traveling and he seems fine to me."

"I'd be careful if I was you." Continues Steven. "There are people out there in the Multiverse who can easily… lie just for the fun of it, you know?"

Abraham rapidly nods his head.

"Oh, I can't IMAGINE what it feels like to be like those people. Lying every chance they get! It feels… _sickening_."

Bobby turns his head to face his brother.

"Should we tell him?"

"Nah, let him have this one." Answered Chin.

Steven nods and picks up his briefcase.

"Now, if there isn't anything else, I'll be on my way. ALSO… you may want to know that **Mr. Keating **will be giving a lecture at 3, that's 40 minutes from now. **Miss Jennifer Honey **will be giving her lecture at 5 and… OH YES, **Mr. Escalante **will be giving a lecture here at 7.

Goodbye, and good luck, guys."

Nodding at the trio, Steven then walks out of the classroom.

With the magic button in hand, Abraham nods at the two guys he calls his brothers.

"I'm gonna do this alone. I have a feeling things aren't gonna go the way I want them to."

Chin nods back. "Bobby and I are gonna stay here and listen to those lectures. After that, I think we're gonna go home… HOPEFULLY for at least a few years."

Setting the button down on the teacher's desk, Abraham puts his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, when you've been traveling the Multiverse for as long as I have, you'd want to stay in your own universe in the end wishing you never left. That's what I'd do if I was in your situation."

Bobby crosses his arms.

"Is that the TRUTH, Abe?"

Abraham smirks.

"You should already know the answer."

He walks over to Bobby and gives him a short hug, after that, he moves on to do the same with Chin.

"I'll get Lemy back to normal in no time! Wish me luck, guys!"

Now it's Chin's turn to smirk.

"Like my dad always says, 'Luck's got nothing to do with it!' But… I can have Bobby over here put a squirrel suit on if you want."

Bobby then punches Chin's arm. "HEY!"

Abraham laughs as he picks up the button.

"Alright guys, here I go! One for the money…"

"Two for the show!" Said Chin.

"Three to get ready!" Said Bobby.

In unison, the three said,

"AND FOUR TO…"

Abraham presses the button, cutting off the brothers.

"...Go…"


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"_I fell._

_Not into the Overseer's Manor…_

_But into a vast, scorching desert."_

I don't know why the Overseer would choose a place like this to live. I kinda imagined it would be more… greener.

I had to discard my jacket and turtleneck a while back. They were no good to me in this heat. I look silly with just my sleeveless undershirt and gray pants but at least I'm a little bit cooler.

Agh… with every step I take, I feel my throat getting hotter and drier as if it's screaming at me to get out of this damn universe or at least take a long drink of water every two fucking seconds.

Hm?

As I walk further into this wasteland, I keep seeing all around me, lying face down and scattered before my feet are the bodies of other versions of my father.

I can see them still moving, but barely. They're also… moaning a little. They must have given up walking a while ago: feeling a thirst much more severe than what I'm feeling. Begging for the sweet release of death to deliver them from their suffering, only for it to not come.

Then again, why should it? These Lincoln Louds may be cult leaders, apathetic and abusive fathers and husbands… _and pedophiles._

Not the type of common people who look at lolicon hentai only because it has been brought up in their recommendations in the early mornings and later having strange thoughts of little girls. I like to think that is more common than I'd like to admit. These pieces of human trash that I'm talking about are the ones who actually… REACHED OUT!

I gotta stop thinking to myself and just fucking WALK! AUGH! I'M SO THIRSTY!

* * *

As Abraham continues walking through the desert, his eyes catch something he thought he'd never see.

"Hm? Why would a CHURCH be here of all places?"

He walks closer to check out the ruins. This is no natural collapse. Whoever did this did so intentionally…

"_**Poetic… isn't it?"**_

Abraham turns around to see the man who he last saw 22 days earlier.

Lincoln Loud: The Overseer of the Multiverse.

"Any foundation that is built on a pile of sand is GUARANTEED to collapse."

Abraham clears his throat and begins to speak.

"I don't need to explain myself, do I? Lemy is in trouble and it's all my fault. I need your help."

"And WHY do you think I should help you!? If I never appointed you to be the judge of the Sin Kids, _**JIGSAW**_ would still be alive!"

"OH FUCK HIM!" Shouted Abraham. "He was an asshole and a maniac! He always was! I did the Multiverse a FAVOR by taking him out of it!"

The Overseer sighs. "Well… he WAS gonna die anyway. So will I… and YOU… and everything else in this multiverse.

It really IS a miracle that all these things are happening at the same time. Everything CAME from nothing and in the end, everything will BECOME nothing. Like it never even existed."

Abraham shakes his head. "Yeah, cool story man. Now about those gems on your crown…"

The Overseer looks down at the ground. "Heh. Lemy saw the Bird Box monster… That was because _**I **_sent it there!"

Abraham takes a step back. "Wait! WHAT!?"

The Overseer goes through his long explanation.

"When I realized that you were comfortable with killing Lincoln Louds and not Sin Kids, I figured you needed a little… _incentive_. I waited until Lemy got separated from you… Marco was collateral damage, and briefly introduced the monster once I pulled the five of you into that alternate empty universe that I created without you all noticing. Just a perk of being the damn Overseer."

Abraham argues back. "Well… you didn't expect ME… did you? Knocking on your… already knocked down church doors by using something that YOU gave to Steven Universe!"

The Overseer rolls his eyes. "Steven? He was only BAIT! Somebody had to use the button sooner or later. I told myself as SOON as somebody presses it…"

The gems on the Overseer's crown start to glow as is iconic Vibranium suit manifests itself around his body, giving off the look of a tiger.

"... I'd change the way I would manage everything. Life is meaningless anyway. I'll prove it by killing about a hundred Sin Kids… _**AFTER I KILL YOU**_!"

Abraham, astonished at what he's seeing, takes off his hat.

"NOT ON MY WATCH!"  
He throws it at the Vibranium clad Lincoln Loud, who deflects it with his claws.

"Do you really think a simple HAT can beat ME!?"

"Oh, this hat is anything BUT simple… _**you gave it to me!"**_

Then, as it the hat has a mind of its own, flies off the sandy ground and attacks the Overseer again.

"It's pointless." Said the Overseer as he deflects more attacks. "YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME! JUST DIE ALREADY!"

He then materializes his sceptre and points it at the flying hat, shattering it to pieces.

"Now let's see how powerful you really are without your…"

He looks to where Abraham was standing only to find him gone.

"Now where did he run off to? ***CRACK* **Huh?"

Hearing the sound of thunder, the Overseer looks up to see storm clouds already forming as the ground below him starts to open up with water seeping in through the cracks.

"How the fuck…"

He looks over at the remains of Abraham's hat… then puts two and two together.

"That's Jigsaw's tenth metal. ABRAHAM WAS DISTRACTING ME!"

He was then pelted by heavy rainfall, for a second feeling like one of the sinners who perished by the biblical flood in the book of Genesis.

Shaking his head to get the Bible from out of his thoughts, the Overseer tightens his grip on his sceptre and shoots a ray of light at the storm cloud; effectively stopping the rain.

For half a second, he thought he could see Abraham wearing a blue robe with a blue cone hat with white stars and a crescent moon.

"THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"

He hears a voice from the clouds.

"_**THE COMPANY… THAT OWNS MARVEL…"**_

The Overseer notices all the sand along with all the Lincoln Louds that he's imprisoned have now disappeared and have instantly been replaced by a grassy meadow with flowers of all colors and a giant tree that can be seen in the distance.

"_**... IS DISNEY!"**_

He runs towards the giant tree. Unsure of what to do next.

"_THREEBRANCH HAS GIVEN HIM POWER! NOOOO!"_

What happened next for the Overseer was something he didn't expect.

Abraham jumps from the branches of the giant tree and attacks him from above with what looks like a paintbrush from his hand.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Without warning, a huge stream of green fluid suddenly was projected out of the paintbrush. The Vibranium the Overseer is wearing is digging into his skin like hot metal.

The Overseer drops his sceptre and falls to his knees in great pain as Abraham forcefully rips the crown from his exposed head with little effort.

"You know, Overseer, I didn't even know my hat even HAD powers to change the weather OR containing the magic paintbrush from 'Epic Mickey.' It was like this voice in my head was telling me to do all these things."

Abraham then picks up the Overseer's sceptre.

"Okay sceptre. SHOW ME THE TRUTH! The secrets of the Multiverse… the one thing I've been searching for all my… ***GASP***"

Abraham's eyes glowed bright blue for a second before he drops the sceptre.

"Huh?" He looks around trying to find the person who said that. "Who the fuck is talk…"

It was right then and there that he realizes what the sceptre MEANT! The voice from beyond the threshold of consciousness. The reason why everything is so weird all the time for him.

"_**This is a fanfiction.**_

Huh? Well… if this really is a fanfiction… then my actions really DON'T have consequences."

He pulls off the gemstones from the Overseer's crown and stores them in his magic hat, which has reverted itself back to its original form.

"Okay…" Continues Abraham. "To anyone out there who's actually still READING this bullshit story, I'll see you in the next and final chapter. For now, I'll leave you with the Overseer."

He then waves you goodbye and exits the universe. His mind set on healing Lemy with the gemstones.

It took him a little time, but the Overseer manages to rest his body at the bottom of the giant tree. The shade being at just the right angle.

"You HAD to tell him, didn't you." He begins talking. "You're a slave to your own ideas, Threebranch. You couldn't have ended everything at the FIRST story, no. You had to make all these… FUCKING SEQUELS!"

I'm supposed to be writing for MYSELF above all others at the end of the day, Overseer.

They got bored of you a long time ago, and frankly, I'm starting to get bored too. I'm moving on.

Lincoln coughs up blood. "Moving on? What about the spin-off?"

The spin-off is still gonna happen. You just won't be alive to see it.

"Well… that sucks."

He sits under the tree for a full minute before speaking again.

"Hey Threebranch?"

Yeah?

"I have an idea. For the spin-off. I think you can make the story better.

What if… What if everyone…"

The Overseer Lincoln then closes his eyes for the last time. His heart stops and his body becomes cold.

He didn't really need to say anymore.

If I need help when writing stories, I'll get it myself.

Rest in peace, my cringey character.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Swirling around a tortilla chip in a jar of salsa, Abraham sings to himself.

"**Feels like we're on the edge right now.**

**I wish that I could say I'm proud. **

**I'm sorry that I let you down. Oh, I let you down.**

**All these voices in my head get **_**loud.**_

**And I wish that I could shut them out.**

**I'm sorry that I let you down.**

**Oh, I let you down."**

He looks over to the bed to see Lemy continuing to stare up at the ceiling of the penthouse.

Setting the salsa down on the table, Abraham speaks.

"Oh, what? What's with you, man!? You haven't said anything for… like… 20 minutes. What the hell's your problem!?"

Lemy sighs deeply. "This life."

"This life!?"

"Why do I have this life?"

Abraham picks up the bag of chips. "Come over here and have some chips. You'll feel better."

Lemy ignores him.

"My dad is my uncle. My mom is my aunt. My sisters are my cousins. The noises from my parent's bedroom keep me up every night. One of my older sisters is dumber than a first grader, and another sister is playing along with it. I get turned down from every job that I apply at. And I KNOW I just saw the most beautiful thing in the multiverse and now I can't remember it anymore."

"You were trying to get the rest of us to look at it." Argued Abe.

"My life's in the SHITTER right now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to stew a bit."  
_"Wow. Talk about __**the BS life of Lemy Loud.**__" _Thought Abe.

"Nah, that's all bullshit, man. You know what the REAL problem is?"

"I was born."

"You should shit or get off the pot."

"I should shit or get off the pot?"

"Yeah, you should shit or get off the pot."

Lemy raises his head up from the pillow.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this thing you have. This inability to improve your station in life."

"Oh, fuck you."

"IT'S TRUE! You lay down there and blame life for dealing you a crappy hand. Never ONCE accepting responsibility for the way your situation is."

"...WHAT RESPONSIBILITY!?"

"Alright, if you hate the fact that you live in a large family of inbreeders, and the noises keeping you up at night, and your annoying sister slash cousins, AND the pedophilia… why didn't you call CPS back when you were… ten?"

"Hmph. Like it's THAT easy!" Lemy said sarcastically.

"IT IS!" Continues Abraham. "All you really HAVE to do is use one of your younger sisters as BAIT!"

"WHAT!? Now I KNOW YOU'RE LYING AGAIN! BAIT!?" Yelled Lemy as he gets off of the bed.

"I'm being honest here, Lemy!" Continues Abraham. " Child protective services would have been to your house in less than fifteen minutes and would have caught your dad red handed. You could have sent him to the Michigan Bootyhouse Facility under 23 hour lockup with _Big Bubba _keeping him company.

Hell, you could even LIE during the trial! It's HIS word against YOURS anyway! Pile on 50 or 60 more years. I don't give a fuck! So what was stopping you!?"

"Just… leave me alone."

"Because you were COMFORTABLE, right? You felt like you were the smartest one in your family even though one of your aunts won a nobel prize shortly after she was potty trained! Man, if you weren't such a fucking coward!"

"I'M A COWARD!?" Shouted Lemy. "You know, it must be so great to have this ability to SIMPLIFY things the way you do!"

"Am I right or what?"

"YOU'RE WRONG! Things happened the last two days, alright! Things that made me desire being born into a normal, not-inbred family MORE! The multiversal traveling DIDN'T HELP!"

"_Yeah… things have happened, alright." _Thought Abraham.

"Hey, you'll get over the feeling of not having a normal, not-inbred family. Shit, my dad grew up in one of those normal, not-inbred families… they locked him out of the house because they thought he was _**bad luck.**_"

"_**WHOA!" **_Said an astonished Lemy, now wondering if HIS dad had to face the same thing only for him to fuck his sisters in the future. "Umm… SHIT! I don't know what to fucking say!"

"Hey, don't get me wrong." Continues Abraham. "I'm HAPPY he was thrown out! My ass would have never been born if that shit never fucking happened in the first place!

So… are you just gonna stand there feeling miserable or are you actually gonna DO something!?"

Lemy takes a deep breath. He knows Abraham is right.

"I'm gonna… travel the multiverse a bit more… Just until I have the desire to go back home."

"Well… if you're gonna travel some more, you'll need this."

Abraham reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, blue stone.

"My dad had been using this for years to help him with traveling the multiverse. It should help you out too."

He hands the stone over to Lemy, along with another Multiverse Traversing Device that was on the table.

"Thank you, Abe. I'm happy that you… consider me family."

He nods at Abe before using the device to travel out of the universe.

"Bye."

Abraham then looks at you.

"And then there were two."

He pulls up a chair and sits down.

"You know, I was originally appointed to be the judge of the Sin Kids… but I think I'm gonna judging a different group of people instead.

_**People who read and write fanfiction.**_

Did you know? All universes are made up of subatomic particles. Each of their movements are set and stone and are predictable.

YOU GUYS… and by extension… ALL PEOPLE… _**THREEBRANCH TOO!**_

In one way or another, you all make yourselves believe that you possess the power to change… well… ANYTHING!  
Your minds act faster than lightning, searching for that consonance for you to justify your personal thoughts.

You want to wake up in the morning and want to have breakfast. But some of you don't want to read 'No Such Luck' fanfics.

You go to campus or to the office. To the canteen or even to dating places. But for some of you, the thought of you opening up a story only for it to include sexual intercourse that involves underaged characters, sickens you to your very core. Those are plentiful in the Loud House fandom.

You all want to feel comfortable, you want freedom, you want your _**LIVES**_ to go on.

It makes you think, doesn't it. But you didn't come here to think, did you? No.

You're all… without exception… bound by the laws of quantum physics, biological needs, and unending stimulations.

OH! And… by your impulsive wants and needs, too. Can't forget about those!

You cry when you were born! But all the while, the only thing that you are capable of doing is merely consoling yourself that everything should turn out fine.

Are you sure?

Do you believe in free will? If so, at what point does GOD come in!?

If HELL is… heh heh… If HELL is… HA HA HA!

_**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**JUST KIDDING!**_

I can't resist lying to the AUDIENCE! I got some of that shit from a HENTAI that I read that was published in _**2013!**_

But seriously, you MADE it to the END of the story!

Hear that? I'm clapping right now! Congratulations!

I'm not lying if I say that I ENJOYED this journey that Threebranch has kindly offered me…

HOWEVER, I'm sorry to announce that there WON'T be a 'Things are Happening 3!'

Shrek 3 and Kung fu Panda 3 were mediocre at BEST… so there won't be an actual SEQUEL to this.

'_**Death Race 2010' **_however, is still a go.

The first chapter of the spin-off story is scheduled for release on _**October 22nd**_. You can look for it in the rated M section of X-overs on the site.

Alternatively… you can check out the author's profile page!

I hope you guys enjoyed 'Things are Happening 2' just like Threebranch enjoyed writing it.

Don't worry about all the shit I said earlier. Have fun with your life like I'm about to have fun with mine. Enjoy your life. I was just lying earlier…

_**OR WAS I…"**_

* * *

_**Abraham, 'Death Race 2010' was a colossal failure. I'm scrapping it!**_

* * *

"Hmm? Wait. What?"


End file.
